The Dallas Cowboys Must Not Return to Glory Under Any Circumstances

Stephen Douglas
Super Bowl XXX - Dallas Cowboys v Pittsburgh Steelers
Super Bowl XXX - Dallas Cowboys v Pittsburgh Steelers / Focus On Sport/GettyImages
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The Dallas Cowboys are officially back. For real this time. It's been 27 years since the Cowboys won their last Super Bowl and we have not been able to shake them despite decades of failure and disappointment. Throughout all the mediocrity and crippling losses, they have remained relevant.

Cowboys 90's Legacy

Going back to the 90's glory days, the players involved seem to have simply refused to leave our lives. Troy Aikman is the highest-paid color commentator in American sports, working high-profile games with Joe Buck. Fullback Daryl Johnston is one of the top commentators for FOX. Wide receiver Michael Irvin is all over ESPN shouting about Dallas. Deion Sanders is one of the highest-profile college football coaches. Backup quarterback Jason Garrett smiles awkwardly on NBC's halftime show every week. Jimmy Johnson, who coached the Cowboys in their first two Super Bowl seasons in 1992 and 1993, is a stalwart on FOX's NFL coverage. And you know who made a name for themself writing about the Cowboys of that era? Skip Bayless.

Then there's Jerry Jones and the iconic star logo. Jones is one of the very few famous sports team owners. He is synonymous with his team's brand and has remained the face of the franchise while the franchise searched for a worthy player. The Cowboys brand was so strong that Tony Romo never led the league in passing or made the NFC Championship Game, but when he retired media jobs were waiting and he immediately got the top job at CBS.

As for the logo, that damn star has been everywhere for as long as most people can remember. Right alongside the Lakers, Yankees and Duke logos on the T-shirts, bumper stickers, and Starter jackets of the worst fans in the world.

We've are subjected to the Cowboys and their unending hype ever since. They are a part of our holiday traditions as we're subjected to them every Thanksgiving, and it is a story whenever they are bad, no matter how bad or for how long.

If the Cowboys win the Super Bowl and change the modern narrative surrounding the team then it will just create another generation of bandwagon-jumping Dallas fans and the brand will outlive Jerry Jones.

Someone has to step up. Will it be Brock Purdy and the San Francisco 49ers? The franchise that was so intertwined with the Cowboys during the 90's has had a lot more success since then, but is still searching for their own next championship. These teams met in the playoffs in '92, '93 and '94 with the winner going on to win the Super Bowl each time. Can the Niners prevent another dynasty?

If the 49ers can't get things done then we must rely on Dallas' NFC East rivals the New York Giants or Philadelphia Eagles. Whoever comes out of their Divisional Round matchup next week will have to take down the Cowboys. And if that doesn't work...

The North Remembers

The Cowboys beat the Buffalo Bills in back-to-back Super Bowls (XXVII and XXVIII) by a combined score of 82-30. The most fitting team to beat the Cowboys and get the most delicious revenge would be the Bills. Winning the Super Bowl would be life-affirming for the NFL fanbase most close to the Wildlings. Beating the Cowboys would be as close to meeting God as Western New York will ever experience. The Bills beating the Cowboys in front of a hundred million people might be enough to set us on a path for a brighter future.

Whoever does it, it must be done. We cannot take another quarter-century of Dallas refusing to go away. The Cowboys must be stopped at all costs.

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