How many goddamn good breaks can one man get? If that's a question you've asked yourself about Tom Brady for the last two decades, welcome to the "Tom Brady is the luckiest fu*king man alive" club. And yes, the asterisk is an official part of the organization's name.
Seriously, has anyone in the history of professional sports had more breaks go their way than Tom Brady? I mean, obviously he works his ass off to be as successful as he is, but the man is a damn walking lucky horseshoe with four-leaf clovers growing out of said hard-working ass.
It appears that luck has snow birded its way to Florida for the winter. Last week, the Bucs beat up the Raiders after Oakland's starting offensive line didn't practice all week because of a coronavirus scare. Today the Bucs' upcoming opponent, the New York Giants, announced they too are sending home all but four offensive linemen because one tested positive.
I mean, yeah, sure, the Bucs would have probably beaten the Raiders without the help and could destroy the hapless Giants with Leonard Fournette playing quarterback, but it must be nice when these breaks go your way.
Simultaneously, the NFL reinstated controversial receiver Antonio Brown this week and you'll never guess who signed the former All-Pro. The same team coached by a man who said they wouldn't sign Antonio Brown in the preseason. That's lucky! So is Fournette being released by the Jags and getting picked up by the Bucs and Gronk coming out of retirement to play with his old buddy.
Meanwhile, Tampa Bay's biggest challenge to win the NFC South, the New Orleans Saints, are embroiled in their own internal issues. Star receiver Michael Thomas punched a teammate in the face a few weeks ago, injured his hamstring last week, and hasn't played since Week 1 because of an ankle injury. Taysom Hill is being forced into the offense on a weekly basis for no good reason and Drew Brees apparently can't throw it further than five yards downfield anymore.
Where the hell was all that in-season turmoil the last three years? Usually the Saints waited until at least the playoffs to implode. Then Brady lands across the Gulf of Mexico and all hell breaks loose. Coincidence? I think not.
Throughout Brady's career, he's caught one lucky break after another. Drew Bledsoe getting hurt opened the door for Brady to start. The tuck rule being a thing prevented a game-ending turnover against the Raiders in the 2002 playoffs, which eventually led to the Patriots winning their first Super Bowl because, luckily enough, the Rams were overconfident.
In the 2004 Super Bowl, Panthers kicker John Casey booted a kickoff out of bounds with under two minutes to go, setting up the Patriots on their 40-yard line and leading to the game-winning field goal. Luckily enough for Brady, ice-veins Adam Vinatieri was there to make the kick, just as he did in the driving snow against the Raiders in 2002 and about a million other times to hand Brady a big win.
Malcolm Butler's interception gave Brady a Super Bowl win over the Seahawks. Bill Belichick's genius as a defensive coach gave Brady his latest Super Bowl win against the Rams in a game where Brady played terribly. And the list goes on.
At the same time, we at the "Tom Brady is the luckiest fu*king man alive" club recognize and appreciate greatness and Brady is certainly that. Like Michael Jordan, he is maniacally driven to be the best. His training and focus are testaments to that. But if the Bucs are in the Super Bowl this year (it would be at home, by the way, which is another remarkable stroke of luck), and the starting quarterback for the opposing team tested positive for COVID the night before the game, let's just say I wouldn't be surprised.