Seven Predictions For the 2020 NBA Finals

By Stephen Douglas
LeBron James
LeBron James / Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
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The 2020 NBA Finals start tonight on ABC. It should be an awesome series full of great storylines. Pitbull will not be involved, but here are seven other things that you should look out for during the series.

Jimmy Butler Besieged by Coffee Pod Scandal

Butler has famously made a fortune selling Big Face Coffee out of his Disney hotel room. The Heat have bonded over the friendly coffee wars between Butler and assistant athletic trainer Brandon Gilliam, but what if they found out that Butler had been stealing the coffee pods from all of their rooms to create demand and then hiding a Keurig in his bathroom where he brews their own coffee and sells it back to them at a huge markup? I'm not saying that's what is really happening, but it would be a major scandal that could rock the entire team if it is.

Tyler Herro Will Miss a Game When He Gets Grounded

In the 2010 NBA Playoffs, Goran Dragic scored 23 points in the 4th quarter of a game against the San Antonio Spurs. It was a coming out party for Dragic, who averaged just 7.9 points a game during the regular season. Tyler Herro was just 10 years old at the time, not old enough to stay up to see the end of a Western Conference playoff game.

Except Herro did watch the game. He snuck downstairs and watched it after his parents went to bed and he will share that anecdote during an interview this week. Upon hearing this, his parents will be so upset they will ground him and he will miss a Finals game.

LeBron James Will Unite America

Sometime in the middle of the series LeBron James will drive to the basket, absorb a great deal of contact, lay the ball in with his left hand and scream for a foul call that does not come. A few plays later, a Heat player will drive to the basket where LeBron is waiting. LeBron will make contact while contesting the shot and a whistle will blow. LeBron's brow will furrow and he will sigh as he accepts the call without protesting.

That's when Jeff Van Gundy begins a slow clap. Eventually, everyone across America who complains about NBA players complaining every time an NBA player complains will slowly join Van Gundy until the entire country has stopped whatever it is doing to applaud the lack of complaining. It will be the first true feeling of unity in America since the end of World War II.

Alex Caruso Goes Orange

Alex Caruso and LeBron James
Alex Caruso and LeBron James / Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Alex Caruso has spent the last two-plus months under the Orlando sun and, during some games, he appears to have a farmer's tan. After people start tweeting about it during Game 1, it's likely Caruso tries to do something about it and looks to Florida's most famous resident for inspiration. Expect him to show up with an entirely orange body by the end of this weekend. Let's just hope he sticks with the shaved head.

Giannis Antetokounmpo Will Sit Courtside

Giannis Antetokounmpo will show up courtside during one of the games. Does this mean he wants to sign with the Heat when he becomes a free agent? Does he want to be traded to Los Angeles? More importantly, what is he doing there? How did he get in? Has he been staying in his hotel room the entire time? There aren't even supposed to be chairs there. Did he bring his own camping chair? He did! Are they're just going to let him sit there and act like it's normal? Oh, here comes security. They're kicking Giannis out of the arena. Now he's being escorted to the edge of the Disney property and told not to come back. Giannis just got banned from Disney World and now he can't go to the Lopez brothers' birthday party. This could cause a rift from which the Bucks may never recover.

Pat Riley and LeBron James Find a Common Ground

LeBron James played four seasons with the Miami Heat and won two titles under Pat Riley. Their split, when LeBron went back to Cleveland after the 2014 Finals, was a bit contentious. With James and Riley's teams fighting for a championship, you would think tensions would be at an all-time high. Instead they will come together over their shared dislike of the New York Knicks and spend the next week or two dunking on James Dolan during media availability.

Udonis Haslem Will Reveal Himself to be a Zombie

In a recent article that appeared on The Ringer, Heat coach Erik Spoelstra talked about Udonis Haslem's early days in Miami, saying that coaches were worried he would hurt someone in full contact practices. While telling that story, he may have accidentally revealed that Udonis Haslem is a zombie.

How else would they walk out in body bags? UD is clearly a zombie, which explains his longevity and Spo's concern about walking body bags. With Halloween right around the corner, now is the perfect time for Haslem to come clean.

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