ESPN's Seaport Studios were the scene of a heated debate on Thursday as the public trial of Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen continued on Get Up for the second straight day. Allen stands accused of the high football crime of Not Protecting the Football. AFC East-appointed judge Mike Greenberg presided as Dan Orlovsky argued his case against the law firm of Martin, Woody & Douglas.
Here's the entire video if you'd like to watch. Otherwise, I'll court stenographer up a recap below.
Was everyone in this video completely over the top? Yes. Did it make for surprisingly intense television for the 8 a.m. hour? Also yes. Orlovsky defended Allen's turnovers as borderline necessary while pointing out that Patrick Mahomes, Tom Brady and Joe Burrow had recent histories of taking teams to the Super Bowl while being at or near the top of the NFL in interceptions thrown. Orlovsky also made the point that if the Bills had won more games, they'd have a better record. Then he made this face.
More importantly, Orlovsky used language much spicier than any food he's eaten this year when he described one of Allen's throws as a "piss missile.' And really, this entire article can stop right now because I doubt anyone has ever said piss missile on ESPN before today so let's hope this is the beginning of a new era. (Jump to the 1:14 mark in that video to witness this great moment in sports debate show history.)
Once Orlovsky finished, Kimberley Martin took over calling the entire debate "dumb" and then shushed the former quarterback as she and Damien Woody shouted about how Allen is good, but does turn the ball over too much. Can both be true? Yes, everyone agreed, which does kind of make the entire argument dumb. Especially when you consider the histrionics going on throughout this clip.
Harry Douglas then makes the closing argument by introducing old evidence of Allen's turnovers directly costing the Bills games this season which actually means that the argument might not be so dumb.
And then the conversation turns to Brock Purdy, whose solid play during victories is actually more divisive than Allen's turnovers during losses. The final verdict? Purdy is not Allen and the 49ers don't win games because of Purdy, while the Bills do win games because of Allen. I guess the jury's still out on actual results.