Latest Media Gossip Musings Leads

Someone Please Put a Marathon of Snow Football Games on Television

Kyle Koster
Stacy Revere/Getty Images
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With age comes baggage and reduced ability to truly get amped for things coming over the horizon. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of reasons to get up in the morning. It's just that none of them resonate with the same combustible energy omnipresent in children when Christmas is approaching. They absolutely lose their minds knowing that soon they'll be blessed with an embarrassment of riches in gift form. Sometimes mine were so excited this past month I observed them walking into walls for no reason, distractedly dreaming of what bounty Santa would leave under the tree.

The reasons parents can't get their own juice up to match are numerous, best summarized by the sheer force of will it takes to facilitate a memorable holiday experience in normal times, let alone these unprecedented ones.

But folks, that youthful exuberance coursed through increasingly narrow arteries all day yesterday when it became clear that the Tennessee Titans-Green Bay Packers game would be taking place inside a Lambeau Field-shaped snow globe. Because the allure and intrigue of a good old-fashioned snow football festival never dulls. It's the type of information that causes casual fans to text even more casual ones and suggest that they be in front of a television for all the sloppy, subzero fun. Like when a pitcher carries a no-hitter into the eighth inning. One simply must check it out.

And although Aaron Rodgers did his damndest to make the actual contest not much of contest, it was still fun as hell to see players slipping around and the ball squirt out and all the other joys that come with playing in such conditions. So much so that it inspired what is surely an idea important C-Level executives have explored in the past but could stand to hear again.

*Nathan Fielder voice here*

The plan? Create an entire day of programming around our shared snow game history. Be it from the professional ranks on NFL Network or the collegiate counterparts on ESPNU, this seems like the ultimate can't-miss. Seriously. Imagine finding out there was going to be 12 consecutive hours of flurry-football and not allowing curiosity to win out.

Further evidence is not needed but consider this. Has there ever been a clip from one of these atrocious weather masterpieces that hasn't made you immediately watch the whole 60 minutes?

No. The answer is no.

There's surprisingly deep inventory from which to choose from and something about a snow-saturated field proves timeless. Perhaps the most intriguing element at play here is how the stakes of the game are almost immaterial to the enjoyment. Sure, it's fun to watch The Tuck Game or the Ice Bowl because of their importance, but Michigan's 5-0 victory over Purdue in 1995 is just as pleasurable. Five to nothing! In football! Or the time Detroit managed to allow Philadelphia to score 34 points in a 19-minute stretch even though the Linc could have been used as stand-in for Hoth.

There could be a whole series here. Rip through the snow games. Then the rain games. Then the really hot games. Then the windy games. You get it. Strike a partnership with the Weather Channel. Find something else for Steve Kornacki to do. Or Al Roker.

If we don't see some form of this idea executed in the next few months, it'll be a massive disappointment.

No pressure.

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