Ryan Fitzpatrick played less than one game for the Washington Football Team before disaster struck. The journeyman QB took a big hit from the Los Angeles Chargers' defense in Week 1 and exited the game with a hip injury, later diagnosed as a subluxation that would sideline him for at least three weeks and probably longer. The WFT placed Fitzpatrick on the IR, but he can return anytime in the next few months.
This is all the background you need to hear a local radio caller explain that Fitzpatrick actually re-injured that hip on Sunday. The initial injury? It happened on a water slide. Or so claims the guy who called into 106.7 The Fan with Brian Mitchell and JP Finlay.
So basically this guy just happened to be at the same water park as Fitzpatrick last week and thinks he saw him hobbling around after going down the "fast" water slide. The radio station's fact-checkers confirmed that Symington's is a water park that exists in Leesburg, Virginia. Here's a picture.
I don't know why this is just so damn funny. The best part is easily the reveal that Fitzpatrick apparently takes his convent of a family (seven kids!) to the water park multiple times a week. It makes one wonder how often this radio caller is there if he knows that.
This all could certainly be an elaborate scheme by the caller to mess with the radio hosts, but it's just weird and simple enough to be believable. Would you really be all that surprised if Ian Rapoport tweeted out tomorrow that Fitzpatrick, of all people, hurt himself by refusing to go down the slow water slide? I would not.
We have Water[Slide]Gate, folks.