If Ryan Fitzpatrick And Gardner Minshew Started a Podcast, What Would It Be Called?

Ryan Fitzpatrick hugging someone not named Gardner Minshew.
Ryan Fitzpatrick hugging someone not named Gardner Minshew. / Michael Reaves/Getty Images

Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Gardner Minshew engaged in a little playful, facial-hair inspired smack talk ahead of their team's Week 3 showdown.

Fitzpatrick, blessed with the facial hair of a Civil War general, started it by saying a beard is cooler than a mustache. Minshew, focused solely on cultivating a 1970s adult-film mustache, fired back by saying he wouldn't disrespect his much, much elder elders, but he preferred the mustache. It was a fun exchange that would have easily translated to good radio, or I guess podcasts because that's what the people listen to these days.

That got me thinking. Why wouldn't these two start their own podcast? It seems everyone is doing it now and, quite frankly, I can't think of a more well-suited duo than a couple of quarterbacks who created the nicknames Fitzmagic and Minshew Mania.

With that in mind, here are some names for a potential podcast involving these two follicle stars.

Minshew Magic

Playing off the two nicknames, this one immediately tells you who the hosts are, which should pull listeners in. It also gives you that feeling that something magical is going to happen when you listen. It's just like watching them play in real life.

The Jortist and the Hair

A highly-creative name coined by my co-worker Kyle Koster, this one plays off Minshew's love affair with jean shorts (jorts) and Fitzpatrick's thick head of wooly hair.

Follically Undisputed

I can't think of any athlete out there who has a better hair-facial-hair combo than Minshew and Fitzpatrick. They are undisputedly atop the follicle mountain.

The Ivy Pac

If these two want to do a college show, this name could really play up their collegiate connections. Fitzpatrick is a Harvard guy, in case you wanted to hear that for the millionth time, and Minshew went to Washington State. Lean into it.

The Old and the Beautiful

Fitzpatrick seems to relish his role as an elder statesman of the NFL and Minshew oozes sex appeal. This seems like a no-brainer.

Facial Air Attack

From the brain of TBL's Stephen Douglas, this is the perfect name for a couple of gunslinging QBs with the facial hair to back up their big arms.

Stache and Full

If they really want to make their facial hair debate a recurring segment, naming their podcast after the types of facial hair they prefer seems like an easy win-win.