Former University of Minnesota offensive lineman Ben Bartch concocted a smoothie that helped him gain 60 pounds. Its ingredients are all fine individually, but objectively disgusting when combined into one mixture.
Seven scrambled eggs, bananas, a tub of cottage cheese, peanut butter, grits, and red Gatorade does not a good recipe make. It does, however, make for premium content.
As soon as this story started to trickle out, it was a safe bet that we'd see our nation's best and brightest sports media stars partaking in the devil's cocktail.
There was Chris Cote of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz immediately regretting the decision to brag about being able to stomach the concoction. Back in his father's day, they drank way grosser things and were able to do it without a reversal of fortune.
NFL Network's Colleen Wolfe drank one with Bartch himself at the combine over the weekend and seemed to almost enjoy it.
Not to be outdone, Good Morning Football's Kyle Brandt made a meal of it this morning, chugging it down and wearing a frothy mustache with pride.
Okay, okay. You all can stop now. We get it. We're good on the weird smoothie.
Look, no one appreciates our brave men and women in sports programming sacrificing it all in the name of good television more than me. It brings a single tear to my eye. My desire to see the trend end is born out of love and concern. We simply cannot be putting our most precious resources at risk like this. They must be protected at all costs.
It's about precedent. If they're forced to drink this for our passive entertainment, what next? Just how long until shows start resembling peak Joe Rogan-led Fear Factor episodes? We're not far from ancient Rome here, making performers face death for our amusement.
If you are an on-air personality reading this, please know you have agency. It's okay to just say no to putting weird things in your mouth. Do not fall victim to peer pressure. If Stephen A. jumps off a cliff or Jim Rome shaves his head, does that mean you will too?
Something to think about.