Roundup: Universal DH Dead; Aaron Boone Surgery; Jim Jordan's Campaign Funds

"Dr. Seuss' The Lorax" - Germany Photocall
"Dr. Seuss' The Lorax" - Germany Photocall / Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Kings of Leon releasing their new album as an NFT ... police looking for runaway emu owner ... unusual Pentagon restrictions slowed the response to the Capitol riot ... get $1,000 to watch Friends ... 25 best revenge movies of all-time ... another SpaceX ship exploded ... the stimulus keeps shrinking for actual Americans ... House approves George Floyd police reform bill ... there may be another attempt to breach the Capitol today ... Alec and Hilaria Baldwin had a baby via surrogate just 5 1/2 months after they had another baby ... the New York Public Library will keep Dr. Seuss books in circulation ..

The Universal DH and expanded playoff are dead issues this year. [The Athletic]

Jose Abreu wants to sing the National Anthem before a game. [FanSided]

Jim Jordan had a few million in unreported campaign funds and the FEC might want to investigate. [The Daily Beast]

Terry Bradshaw was once Tom Brady. An explainer. [TBL]

Dear Minnesota. By Kyle Rudolph. [The Players Tribune]

How Ryen Russillo became an SEC evangelist. [Saturday Down South]

Kellen Winslow got 14 years after being convicted of rapes and sexual assaults. [ESPN]

Aaron Boone having heart surgery to get a pacemaker. [ESPN]

The Bucs claim they just would have ordered a new Super Bowl trophy if Brady had thrown theirs in a river. [TBL]

Someone please save Dr. Seuss so politicians can stop crying.

Zion Williamson write poetry thanks to a high school teacher.

Here's a rough ending to Jeopardy.

And here's a rough Showcase Showdown loss on The Price is Right.

Here's some frolf rap.