Five More Ways to Speed Up MLB Games

Seattle Mariners v San Diego Padres
Seattle Mariners v San Diego Padres / Steph Chambers/GettyImages

Major League Baseball games are too damn long or at least that's what everyone has been saying forever. With television ratings and attendance in a steady decline since the game was first invented (citation needed), MLB is finally getting around to fixing the only problem it has ever had by installing a pitch clock that will ensure games move faster and all fans will be happy.

But could they do more? Yeah, it's nice that Spring Training games are 25 minutes shorter this year, but what if there were ways to make them even shorter? Sure, it's nice that baseball games are now shorter than most Star Wars movies, but what if they were shorter than most episodes of Star Wars television shows? Here are five ways to tighten the game fans don't want to spend much time watching.

Ban Instant Replay

That goes for the umpires and the broadcast. You literally just saw what happened. The game is less than three hours and you can't sit there and stare at the television the entire time? Put your damn phone down.

Faster Express Written Consent of Major League Baseball

Everyone knows that "any rebroadcast, retransmission, or account of this game, without the express written consent of Major League Baseball, is prohibited." But what if we sped up that express and made it faster? It's called Immediate Written Consent of Major League Baseball and you're allowed to post videos to Twitter and YouTube now. That way you can watch the game through clips online and no longer have to tune into the actual games. Just watch moments like with basketball games. And those things only last like an hour.

Everybody Gets Dressed at Home

How many times have you seen a story about a player who arrives at the stadium five hours early to go through their elaborate routine? Just last week we learned about a guy who is there long enough to sunbathe and take a nap. This is unnecessary and it will not happen anymore if players start getting dressed at home. How many professions wear one set of clothes to work?

No More Warm-Ups

Players are already getting dressed at home which means all they have to do when they step out of the car or bus is put on their glove. First pitch is right now so they have to run from the parking lot. If their blood isn't pumping by the time they navigated the stadium tunnels at full speed then maybe they should go back to Triple-A. And all this loosening up between innings is unnecessary. You just warmed up like an hour ago. You really need to play long toss or throw some warmup pitches? The plate and the catcher's glove are in the same place they were yesterday. Play ball.

Yes Pepper

This dangerous game was banned right around the time that baseball started to lose popularity (citation needed). Coincidence? A good game of pepper taught players to play with pace and urgency. You get the ball, you throw it to the batter and he hits it. This is what MLB and the fans want. They won't shut up about it. So just make baseball Pepper.