Five Metallica Songs That Would Not Make Good Horror Movies

By Stephen Douglas
Encore Drive-In Nights Screen Metallica Concert
Encore Drive-In Nights Screen Metallica Concert / Jim Bennett/Getty Images
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Halloween is just a week away so it is currently prime horror movie season. It's also never a bad time to listen to Metallica, a popular heavy metal band with some very dark songs. Being a fan of both, I thought it would make for some fun content to list which Metallica songs would make excellent horror movie titles. The only problem is, just about every Metallica song would make an excellent horror movie title. So I decided instead to pick out the five Metallica songs that would not work as a horror movie.

One
While the subject matter is certainly horrific, one is a very not-evil number. Two? Not really. Three? Now you're starting to get evil and it will only build in evilness up to 6 and 13. But one? Nah.

Sad But True
This title sounds more like a documentary about 2020 than a scary movie. OK, I guess that's some dark material the filmmaker would be working with, but it just doesn't sound right. It's more along the lines of a drama based on the healthcare system or maybe an independent rom-com about people who bond over their shared love of political tweets.

Hero of the Day
This title is way too uplifting. This sounds more like a movie about an abandoned puppy that becomes a bomb-sniffing dog and stops a terrorist attack.

Better Than You
This could be an alternate title for... I guess most Will Ferrell movies? Daddy's Home, Step Brothers, Semi-Pro, Blades of Glory, Talladega Nights. Pretty much any movie where a main character tops a rival with a sense of superiority. Little Giants remade with less stuff about he kids? Better Than You.

My World
This song could be a children's movie or any music documentary about a solo artist. I don't have anything else to say about that, but the song does come off the St. Anger album, which could be a horror movie, but it actually sounds more like something else, which brings me to the following sub-category of the article:

Metallica album titles that would also make excellent Liam Neeson/ Keanu Reeves/Denzel Washington vehicles.

Kill 'Em All - Self-explanatory.
Ride the Lightning - An escaped prisoner takes on corrupt prison guards after the wrong man is executed.
Master of Puppets - Jeff Dunham's best friend and understudy avenges his mysterious death.
... And Justice for All - A judge avenges the murder of his family after he sentences a gangster to life in prison.
Metallica - Sounds more like a robot Elvira. I'd watch that.
Load - Aside from he obvious genre, this could be thriller about someone who kills people with a computer virus.
Re-Load - Convoluted straight-to-streaming sequel.
St. Anger - A religious figure avenges the deaths of a bunch of innocent townspeople.
Death Magnetic - I guess this one is more of a Stephen King thing where a janitor at a science lab becomes magnetized and ends up hurting everyone around him. Bill Skarsgård is probably attracted to this role.
Hardwired... To Self-Destruct - The son of a mobster walks away from his family business to become an electrician until his brother is murdered.

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