Counterpoint: Getting Driven Into the Earth's Mantle at Dodger Stadium Is Actually a Good Way to Propose
By Kyle Koster
Everyone can agree that the Los Angeles Dodgers fan who scampered out onto the field during Opening Day to get down on bended knee for a marriage proposal before getting rocked from the blindside like the optometrist who got jacked up by Gwenyth Paltrow was extraordinarily funny. Most will also conclude that this is a bad way to offer up a lifetime of companionship, considering the blunt force and burdensome legal ramifications. A lot of people are saying that this is what should happen to everyone who choses to propose at a sporting event because they have little Grinch-sized hearts and love to be bothered by things that literally don't impact them at all.
And on some level, I get where they are coming from. But I think they're missing the larger point because this is actually a fantastic proposal from every angle. Except the one a security guard who saw their one chance at glory took to set the edge and perform targeting on a ring-carrier who had already given himself up.
The ultimate goal of a marriage proposal is to get a yes. A secondary goal is to do it in style, with something memorable that took both effort and sacrifice. You have to ask in a noteworthy way because everyone's going to ask how the question was popped and having a good story is social currency.
Do you want to know why I know this couple — if a yes was earned — have a good story to tell? Because it's on the front page of every sports and pop culture blog in America this morning. Wacky morning drive radio hosts are throwing out their entire rundowns and spending 15 minutes on this delight. This is one of those viral videos that rises to the level where you want to show strangers in the waiting room of your kids' dentist office because it just feels like they need to see it.
A dude in a Mookie Betts jersey paid the ultimate price. Which shows he is committed. Proposals are supposed to be a bit of inconvenience for the one doing the proposing anyway. Being slightly or majorly inconvenienced so your partner knows you were slightly or majorly inconvenienced on their behalf is a tremendous spring training for actually being married. So is paying a dear, dear price for doing anything impulsive during a night out.
Look, perhaps all stadium proposals should end like this. But maybe the person doing the proposing can be in on it. Tell me you wouldn't want to watch a random fan get pancaked into oblivion after the bottom of the fourth every night. Make it a rule that if you want to suggest marriage, a boring scoreboard message will no longer be your conduit. No, if you want to propose you'll have to walk out into the middle of the diamond like a gladiator at the Coliseum and be prepared for any man or beast that emerges from security HQ.
Baseball's enjoying a renassaince. Such a policy could only help.