David Helman burst onto the national radar and into our hearts last weekend with a flawless 80 seconds so far afield from the usual hyperbole of sports-shouting shows that it would have been unfair to expect him to match such a performance. But Speak's breakout star seems simply allergic to nonsense, so perhaps it should be no surprise when he swats it away with pitch-perfect matter-of-factness and a resting heart rate of 46 beats per minute.
LeSean McCoy, in a classic rookie move yesterday, tried to get the idea that the Dallas Cowboys play harder for Cooper Rush than Dak Prescott off the ground. Helman remained calm and swatted the ridiculousness away like Dikembe Mutombo in his prime.
Another masterclass! First, Helman attempts to completely sidestep the absurdity. Then he explains how the actual Cowboys feel about Prescott based on his deeply-sourced reporting while telling McCoy he doesn't care how he feels about it. Then he pounces on some weird, offhand accusation that Prescott has four-interception games. It just goes on and on and on and on in the best way possible.
Look, are we the only sports blog that has put in a request to our corporate overlords to hire someone to be on the David Helman beat full-time? Yes. But folks, it cannot be stated enough how refreshing it is to have a true avatar of the audience at home on one of these programs. Or at least the audience with their brain turned on and not trapped in a barber's chair. We've been waiting for a guy or gal like this forever. We didn't expect that person to materialize on FS1's late-afternoon buffet, which is proof life is full of happy accidents.
It's been years since our staff here has been genuinely excited to see what anyone on television has to say about anything. That's all changed with Helman. Sure, it's the honeymoon stage. There will be plenty of time to stop swooning in the future.
Let us enjoy this. Hell, you should be enjoying it.