Dave Portnoy Shocked to Discover No One Works at Website He Founded, Just Bought Back

Barstool's offices were quite empty this morning.

Yesterday's massive news that Dave Portnoy had bought Barstool Sports back from Penn Gaming after ESPN came calling is one of the rare win-win-win situations in sports media. The deal worked out for everyone in a way and Portnoy's payoff will come more immediately as he's now regained the wheel of what was once a true pirate ship. There's a new boss in town and he's a lot like one of the old bosses because he is one of the old bosses. And the vibe has changed a bit in the direction of Barstool's old-school ways.

Look no further than a blog posted shortly after 10 a.m. by the self-proclaimed El Presidente himself calling his employees "brain dead," which came on the heels of Portnoy waiting for two hours at the New York office space for actual workers to show up.

I have an honest question.   How f--ing dumb are all my idiot employees?   I’ve literally owned Barstool again for less than 24 hours, they know I’m in town and literally none of them have showed up at the office today before 10am.

Guys I could cut at the drop of a hat and nobody would notice and they’d never find another job like this again.  NONE of them are here. None of them thought to show up maybe early on day 1 of the new regime.   I mean seriously how f---ing dumb are these people?   No wonder Penn gave it back to me for pennies on the dollar.     I got the dumbest group of morons who ever lived.

It's a management style that I could not employ without serious consequence but it brings me no pleasure to concede that Portnoy has a real point here. You absolutely need to be at the office bright-eyed and bushy tailed after news like this breaks. You cannot be strolling in at 11 a.m. already planning a lunch break in an hour to just cruise though until 1:30 p.m.

On the other hand, this is a due diligence issue and he should have known exactly what and who he was buying. It's kind of amazing how predictable this situation is.