Not sure if we have the exact technology yet, but someone stands to make decent coin by creating an alert system whenever ESPN's football expert Dan Orlovsky veers into the food arena because it's always going to be weird and change the trajectory of your day. The man boldly embraces the unseasoned even in the face of regular pushback from his colleagues, which is both bland but also a little admirable. Something about a person sticking to their principles even if those principles cause his salt and pepper shakers to feel ostracized from the broader spice community.
If such an alert system where in place Friday night, interested parties all over the world would have been pinged to inform that the pundit had made pizza. Pizza so life-changing it inspired one of those fleeting thoughts we all get from time to time. Thoughts of walking away from it all and starting a food truck .
Look, there is no such thing as bad pizza. Nature's perfect food remains such even though human error and imperfection in the preparation department. Food Twitter is perhaps the most judgemental of all the online community and the lackluster presentation exacerbated the predictably negative reaction here.
But I don't know. If the intention was to get me interested in trying the pizza, Orlovsky definitely succeeded. More than that, it would be tremendous content if he did shock the sports media world and trade his studio gig in for a wood-fire oven and sliced pepperoni. The Chef movie with Jon Favreau is a lot different if the protagonist can quickly diagnose a Cover-3 while sprinkling mozzarella. Not better, just different.
Considering how valued the former quarterback is internally at ESPN there's very little chance he walks away from a promising career to cook up pie. It will probably remain a mere hobby, and that's okay. Homemade pizza is a wonderful thing, varying from house to house. Orlovsky's may not be your slice of choice but evil flounders when good people sit by and say nothing. And to that end I will always stand up for those who are doing the work of making something from scratch and harboring big, crusty dreams.
Cook on, Dan.