Hell Yes, We All Want a Big Hat

Kyle Koster
Rob Carr/GettyImages
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The Washington Commanders keep winning football games. If they aren't careful, they'll wrap up a playoff spot without much drama. Kyle Brandt has it exactly correct when he compares them to hummus, plain Cheerios and a CSI show. They may be boring but they get the job done. It's fair to say they don't really have "a thing" except the whole Daniel Snyder thing, which is a very bad thing.

But the Big Hat could be a thing.

What's the Big Hat, you ask? Well, it's a lot like a normal hat, just bigger.

Commanders running back Brian Robinson wore one in the locker room following Washington's 19-13 win over the Atlanta Falcons yesterday and therefore changed the fashion game forever.

Yeah, we want the Big Hat. We all want the Big Hat. Who wouldn't want to walk around looking like a created player on PGA 2K? Who wouldn't want to feel like George Costanza donning a rat sable? Who wouldn't want to look like every ninth kid at a Dude Perfect show?

The Washington Post did not allow democracy to die in darkness and did some shoe-leather reporting on the origins of the Big Hat.

Noggin Boss, as you might suspect, is an incredible website. There are Big Hats that tell everyone you are a good dad or help you conduct a gender reveal. They have options that allow you to announce your affinity for golf or are an upcoming bride. All for the very reasonable price of $75 per hat. I don't know how much you thought the Big Hats cost but the base is $75.

Now, is using an official NFL-licensed property on a Big Hat totally on the up and up? That's an answer we don't know. One wouldn't want to end up in court as a transcript about a Big Hat is read.

Robinson must be so incredibly busy today hearing from people who — hell yeah — want one of them Big Hats.

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