Rob Gronkowski Shared a Bathroom Stall With His Brothers at the ESPYs
These are the Gronkowski brothers – Dan Gronkowski, Gordie Gronkowski, Rob Gronkowski and Glenn Chris Gronkowski. Even on the red carpet of a fancy Hollywood event, they are meatheads in the most extreme sense of the term. They pose, flex and do wheelbarrow races. All while wearing suits. To their credit, they kept their shirts on throughout the ESPYs. Not by choice, but by solemn vow, no doubt.
Speaking of Gronk’s time at the ESPY’s, Bill Simmons shared three stories on Monday’s B.S. Report that are truly bro-riffic and meathead-tastic. With an assist in transcribing from Sports Rapport:
Leaving the after party, walking through the hotel where the first after-party was and there was an [escalator - Simmons kept calling it an elevator] that people were going down. And there was probably like–you know, people were walking kind of slow because there’s only one at a time on the [escalator] so it’s kind of clogged a little bit–and then there was an [escalator] going up that nobody was on. Gronkowski sprints down, past all the people that are going down the [escalator] and sprints down the ‘up’ [escalator]. Sprints down the escalator. Then, he gets to the bottom, raises his hands, and goes, “YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” That was one. I actually witnessed [this].
[Gronk] is in the elevator–and there’s probably 10 people in the elevator including one of my friends–he says to the doorman–it’s this party that’s gonna be on the roof of some place in LA–like, it’s outdoors. He says to the elevator person, “At this party, can we party with our shirts off?” And the guy’s like, “Uhhh…yeah…I think so.” Gronkowski turns to his buddy and goes, “YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” and high fives him.
This was also witnessed by a friend of mine. Gronkowski’s in line for the bathroom. There’s a line. There’s two urinals and a stall, or whatever, and they’re all waiting. Gronkowski’s with his two brothers–who just looked awesome. He goes into the stall and then turns over to one of his brothers and says, “Crossies?” The second brother goes in. The third brother goes in. And then there’s some guy who’s waiting–some smaller guy–and they’re like, “Let’s get him, too.” They grab this guy and they bring him in and they all pee in the bathroom together in the stall.
Amazing. This guy does not have an off-switch. Fighting the urge to wear a Zubaz suit to the ESPYs must have taken incredible will power. Unfortunately, it is time to look forward. Football season is approaching and the Summer of Gronk appears to be winding down. At least the Patriots would really like it to wind down. From The Boston Globe:
This week, we’re going to talk about Rob Gronkowski again, though perhaps in not so positive a way.
After posing nude for ESPN The Magazine’s “Body Issue” and partying at events for the issue and the ESPYs (Gronkowski was up for two awards but was shut out), and co-hosting “Access Hollywood Live” in recent days — things that seem un-Patriot-like — don’t be surprised if he lays low for the next couple of weeks.
Via a league source, Gronkowski has been told by the team that his summer of Gronk, so to speak, is over.
We should all shed a tear if that is true. July and August are well known as two very broriffic months. This is prime beach season and Spring Break doesn’t come along for another, like, year or something. Come on Pats. Can’t you be chillbros?
Previously: Warning: ESPN the Magazine is About to Mail You Nude Rob Gronkowski Pictures
Previously: Rob Gronkowski Attended a Playboy Party Wearing a Vest and Tie Sans Slacks
Previously: Rob Gronkowski Enlists His Meathead Friends to Get on the Cover of Madden ’13
Previously: Rob Gronkowski In Zubaz Is The King of the Meatheads
Previously: Rob Gronkowski Spiked a Puck at a Minor League Hockey Game
Previously: Rob Gronkowski Dancing Wildly at a Super Bowl Party

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26 Responses to “Rob Gronkowski Shared a Bathroom Stall With His Brothers at the ESPYs”
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July 17th, 2012 at 11:20 AM
That guy on the far left in the bottom picture is hilarious.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:22 AM
lets just hope it was consensual.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:23 AM
I think that’s Dad Gronk
July 17th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
it’s like he just realized he shit himself just a little bit trying to flex too hard.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
These are the Gronkowski brothers
Which combination of buttons on my keyboard is the terminate button?
July 17th, 2012 at 11:26 AM
Gronk: I’m really going to do something with these three months.
Tommy B.: Like what?
Gronk: I’m gonna read a book. From beginning to end. In that order.
Tommy B.: I’ve always wanted to do that…
Gronk: I’m gonna play frolf.
Tommy B.: You mean golf?
Gronk: Frolf, frisbee golf Tommy. Golf with a frisbee. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin. I proclaim this: The Summer of Gronk!
/Seinfeld
//I’m sure there’s an episode about peeing in the stall…Crossies!
July 17th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
He really is a big dumb animal.
And I mean that in the most complementary way possible.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:28 AM
“At this party, can we party with our shirts off?”
/Vince Young’d.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:28 AM
there was an episode where we find out George takes his shirt off when taking a shit, then he got mesmerized by the Magic Eye print in the bathroom at a party and walks out shirtless.
close as i can get.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:28 AM
he should be doing things that are patriot like, like cheating, putting the team above your family, playing through concussions and not getting paid market value.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Agreed.
GET WITH THE PROGRAM, GRONK!
July 17th, 2012 at 11:31 AM
I’m resisting the urge to do any mock fantasy drafts until August 1.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:32 AM
Sources say growing up the Gronkowski brothers survived exclusively on Kraft Mac-a-Broni & Cheese
July 17th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
obnoxious as hell. that shit’s only funny when i did it 20 years ago
July 17th, 2012 at 11:37 AM
he should be doing things that are patriot like, like cheating, putting the team above your family, playing through concussions and not getting paid market value.
Agreed.
GET WITH THE PROGRAM, GRONK!
fuck around with the hairstyle, dance poorly
July 17th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
I hope Trent Richardson is doing things that are brown like.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
What was with the human colored hulk hands on that cover? That shit was disturbing.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:39 AM
i think we’re all in agreement he will be…either jim brown like or charlie brown like. no in between.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:39 AM
I hope Trent Richardson is doing things that are brown like.
like waking up?
July 17th, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Did the author of this piece get visual confirmation of this?
/they were likely doing blow
July 17th, 2012 at 11:44 AM
OT/
I just took a phone call from a guy named “Yuri” who had a thick russian accent asking about importing wine. Spencer, how did you get my number?
July 17th, 2012 at 11:45 AM
comrade bilas. it good number, no problem.
July 17th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Protecting his knees from Patriot players after the whistle?
/Never forget the atrocities nearly committed against Joe Thomas
July 17th, 2012 at 11:56 AM
/high fives butters
and that was fellow walsh jesuit high school alum mike vrabel doing the diving…never been so ashamed of my alma mater.
July 17th, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Fixed for accuracy
July 17th, 2012 at 12:20 PM
He should be making an idiotic audtion tape with his bimbo girlfriend. THATS the Patriot way!