Yardwork: The Best Albert Pujols Jersey Modifications
By Tim Ryan
The home Opener at Busch Stadium this past weekend had a bit of a different feel, marking the first season since 2001 in which Albert Pujols would not be the team’s starting first baseman. Big Al and his outstandingly awful OPS of .624 — look, it’s never too early in the season to be a dick — were busy suiting up elsewhere and not sporting that adorable Cardinals laundry we’ve become so accustomed to, though some sources have indicated he still does wear his trusty Cardinals-clad feet pajamas each and every night.
Since so many fans have purchased Pujols-related gear over the years, it has allowed for a rather large open casting call to see who could come up with the best altered No. 5 jersey as part of an informal tribute to the departed hero.
This jersey modification project should really begin and end with the photo at far left, especially since it’s being worn by a chick. It’s a fantastic use of the Angels logo to go along with impressive craftsmanship. The “250 Million” version isn’t bad either: simple, effective, and clean, all while succinctly telling the story. Albert would have been a damn fool to pass up that kind of money. And finally, the inevitable “Traitor” jersey gets a mention because, really, if you’re going to make a homemade alteration to a jersey, you just have to use duct tape.
The Cards beat the Cubs 10-3 yesterday, taking two of three from their lovable rival. Matt Carpenter went 4-for-4 with 5 RBIs.
Indians 13, Royals 7 — Ubaldo Jimenez was not good — 5 IP, 9 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, 5 K — but it was enough thanks to the bats, with four players homering. I would give the names of each player who went deep, but it’s the Indians. They’re going to have to earn my respect.
Pirates 4, Giants 1 — A loss to the Pirates and news that closer Brian Wilson is likely done for the season. If I were the Giants, I would definitely be sleeping in today.
Yankees 11, Angels 5 — Derek, yes he’s just Derek, went 2-for-5 with a double and a three-run shot, proving once again that the old man is far from done.
Marlins 5, Astros 4, 11 innings — The Astros are 4-5, making their fans somewhat optimistic that this season won’t be a complete clusterfuck, while the Marlins are 4-6, causing fans to be a little concerned. It’s amazing what expectations can do.
Braves 7, Brewers 4 — Larry Jones was 1-for-3 with a three-run homer and two walks. As John Locke once firmly stated, “don’t tell me what I can’t do.” Derek Jeter agrees.
Rangers 4, Twins 3 — Josh Hamilton now has four home runs and a scorching OPS of 1.137. Of course it won’t last, but since reporters are bashing Albert’s weak numbers thus far by citing his putrid OPS, it’s only fair to celebrate that of Hamilton’s.