Yardwork: Seriously, Mets Have Won Six Straight
By Tim Ryan
Braves 7, Padres 0 — Chipper Jones passed Mickey Mantle on the all-time RBI list. The only switch-hitter in his way now is renowned pimp, Eddie Murray.
Indians 7, Royals 2 — Josh Tomlin has been bitten by the home run ball a little too often, but other than that, he’s been tremendous. Just like Masterson, he’s gone six or more innings in all five of his starts. It looks like the Indians may hang around after all, likely long enough to choke away the division in the final week of the season.
Dodgers 5, Marlins 4, 10 innings — Andre Ethier’s solo shot in the top of the 10th was the difference, but the story is muff-diving catcher Rod freaking Barajas and his three-run homer.
Yankees 3, White Sox 1 — Bartolo Colon struck out eight and allowed one run through eight innings while topping out at 95-96 mph. I didn’t think he still had that it in him. I must say, as a Yankee fan, it’s enjoyable to have another fat guy in the starting rotation. As you know already, Ozzie was given the boot in the top of the first. Some people feel as though his act might be getting old, but I feel quite the opposite. Not sure if it’s because of his presence on Twitter, but I find myself enjoying Ozzie-ness more and more.
Cards 6, Astros 5 — Kyle Lohse, people. Seven shutout innings gives him 16 consecutive scoreless. The man is reborn. Ryan Franklin relieved him in the eighth and promptly served up a double and a single, and was shown the door. If pitchers were rated on a boob scale, Ryan Franklin would have the floppiest, flappiest tits in all of baseball.
Phils 8, D-Backs 4 — In his last three outings, generous starter Joe Saunders has given up 24 huts and 12 runs. He’s been a disaster.
Orioles 5, Red Sox 4 — Wow, Kevin Gregg worked a flawless ninth inning in a one-run game against a good team. This will never happen again.
[Photo via Getty; GIF via Mocksession]