Yardwork: Barry Zito Somehow Throws a Shutout at Coors Field
By Tim Ryan

Is Zito back? Well, until his next start I guess we can all claim that Barry has rediscovered himself by way of reinventing himself, or something along those spiritual lines. He apparently worked on a new delivery this spring — of course he did — which has him crouching more to give him a lower center of gravity. New delivery or not, the guy featured an 84 mph fastball that produced 15 pop-ups. Eat your heart out, Jamie Moyer. The Giants won 7-0.
Marlins 6, Phillies 2 — I’m heavily rooting for another Phillies loss tomorrow (they’re off today) in the interest of hilarious, widespread panic on sports radio in the city of brotherly love.
Angels 5, Twins 1 — One hell of a debut for C.J. Wilson: 7 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 4 BB, 5 K.
Yankees 6, Orioles 2 — The Yankees got their first win of the season thanks to an excellent start from young workhorse Ivan Nova. Would you like a nugget to take into tonight’s game, one that might spill over into a couple of plunkings? Here’s Russell Martin on Robert Andino, who he had apparently accused of stealing signs in the ninth inning. The two exchanged words after the final out: “Probably maybe a look that I gave him,” Martin said, smiling. “Maybe he didn’t like the way I looked at him or something. I don’t really know. Is this Sherlock Holmes? Are you guys looking for clues and stuff? That’s all I’ve got. I think he was inviting me to a sparring session next offseason, by the way. I don’t know. I’ll get his number. We’ll talk it over later.” If you’re a Yankee fan, you gotta love Russell Martin’s fiery approach.
Mets 4, Nationals 3 — The New York Mets remain undefeated. I repeat, the New York Mets remain undefeated.
Astros 8, Braves 3 — I picked the Braves to finish fourth for a reason. The offense is not going to be there often enough to hang with the rest of the division. But losing to the Astros to go to 0-4? That’s a problem, but not a complete debacle because no one in Atlanta really gives a shit about the Braves.
Rangers 11, Mariners 5 — Yu Darvish was a roaring trainwreck: 5.2 IP, 8 H, 5 ER, 4 BB, 5 K. Thankfully, for his sake, Rangers Ballpark in Arlington* wasn’t even close to being sold out for the prized free agent’s debut. You see, Rangers fans don’t really get excited for baseball until late September when the team gears up for a homer hanky-themed, wave-inducing playoff run.
*What a catchy name for a stadium. Imagine if all teams did that? Yankees Ballpark in the Bronx, Mets Stadium in the borough of Queens, the list goes on.
Speaking of the Rangers, here’s a fan doing “the sprinkler” after catching a home run ball. Well done, big fella: