The 10 Worst Super Bowl Commercials to Ever Air
Commercials are a big part of the fun on Super Bowl Sunday. Every year we get a torrent of new ads to sift though: some great, some just OK, and others downright horrible. Because we love to focus on the negative around here, we've gone through the painstaking process of watching all the horrible Super Bowl ads from over the years and picking out the worst of the worst.
Here are the 10 that distinguished themselves most thoroughly in that department.
Mountain Dew Zero Sugar -- Super Bowl LIV
I love Bryan Cranston as much as anyone, but this commercial was horrible. Choosing to parody The Shining was an odd choice in itself, but taking a beloved actor and making him creepy instead of charming was a worse decision than Kyle Shanahan staking his title hopes on Jimmy Garoppolo's arm. I hope Cranston got a boatload of cash to be in this.
GM "Robot" -- Super Bowl XLI
Oh yeah, I remember this gem, a robot on an assembly line commits suicide after being fired for making a mistake. But it's OK everyone, he was just dreaming. Ha! See it's funny ... because he's a robot ... and it was a dream. What in the hell was that sh*t?!? Talk about an all-time buzzkill. Seriously, we're at a Super Bowl party, not a funeral. We don't want to think of anything dying unless it's Rex Grossman's dreams of ever holding the Lombardi Trophy.
This commercial was so poorly received GM actually changed it a few days after the Super Bowl. I'm assuming someone gently reminded them suicide isn't actually funny.
Groupon "Save the Money - Tibet" -- Super Bowl XLV
Ah yes, the old bait and switch. Make this seem like it's a commercial about saving Tibet but instead make it about saving money at Tibetan restaurants. I'm sure the Dalai Lama believes Groupon making fun of China's domination of his homeland is sidesplittingly funny. He probably reacted the same way Steelers fans do when you mention Rashard Mendenhall's Super Bowl XLV fumble that led to a late Packers' touchdown. Hilarious.
GoDaddy Runaway Puppy -- Super Bowl XLIX
Why are you trying to make us cry during a damn Super Bowl party? This lonely puppy gets lost, then winds up going through hell to find his way back home only to be sold immediately via the Internet. What the hell, GoDaddy? It's not even funny, it's just a sad attempt at bad humor that didn't work the way it was intended. Not unlike Pete Carroll's decision to throw a pass from the 1-yard line with 26 seconds left when he had Marshawn freaking Lynch in the backfield.
Doritos "Jay Gets Big Bucks" -- Super Bowl XXIV
I hate Jay Leno. I've always hated Jay Leno. What with an enormous head, the smug, punchable face, that big, brick-shaped chin and his horrible sense of humor -- oh and there's the way he stabbed both David Letterman and Conan O'Brien in the back. I've always thought Jay reminded me of one of those Easter Island statues, only with far less personality. Put him in an ad and I'll go out of my way not to buy your product. In this commercial, the squeaky-voiced buffoon is talking about how much money he makes. It's no surprise that Leno's commercial was part of arguably the worst Super Bowl in history.
Cash 4 Gold, Ed McMahon and MC Hammer -- Super Bowl XLIII
This one was just sad. We all loved Ed McMahon but at this point he was beyond the age when he should still be on television. And if you're going to put MC Hammer in a commercial, at least have him do some dancing in parachute pants. This was a huge missed opportunity and left me more upset than Cardinals fans at the officiating.
Gatorade "Man's Best Friend" -- Super Bowl XLII
With this ad, Gatorade is trying to say that even dogs approve of its product, so you should love it. Do the people at Gatorade realize that the dog in their commerical also uses his tongue for toilet paper? The added volume of the dog's slurping just makes this worse. Though it wasn't quite as bad as the scene in New England after the undefeated Patriots were vanquished by Eli Manning, who I'm fairly certain drank his Gatorade the same way as this dog.
T-Mobile "Hotline Bling" -- Super Bowl 50
I can see the pitch meeting here: put Drake in the commercial, use his song and feed him some cheesy lines, then let white people dance for humorous purposes. Boom, done, easy. The meeting after they shot this and asked the bosses for $5 million to air it probably wasn't as fun. This was almost as lame as Cam Newton bouncing on his postgame press conference.
Holiday Inn "Bob Johnson" -- Super Bowl XXXIII
Do I even need to dive into this one? Holiday Inn had spent money to give its hotels a facelift and figured it would be funny to compare that to a transsexual woman after undergoing extensive surgery. If you're not picking up the litany of reasons why that might be problematic, I can't help you.
Nationwide "Boy" -- Super Bowl XLIX
The same Super Bowl that had GoDaddy's runaway puppy also had this abomination. In the middle of the game, Nationwide unleashed a steaming pile of manure. It features a young boy telling us all the things he'll never get to do because, you guessed it, he died from an accident. Enjoy the big game, everyone! How do you just move on after watching that? "Hey Steve, I know we just saw a commercial about an elementary school kid dying a horrible, preventable death -- I'm assuming he was caught in a wheat thresher, myself -- but could you pass the seven-layer dip?"
Nationwide: Helping you avoid killing your own children since 1926. You know what else prevents avoidable tragedies? Handing the ball off to Marshawn Lynch.
Salesgenie "Pandas" -- Super Bowl XLII
This is yet another terrible commercial from the 2008 game. Salesgenie thought it would be funny to have cartoon pandas on screen speaking broken English with Chinese accents. What could go wrong? Then somehow, the "Panda psychic" has no accent. It doesn't even make sense. The commercial offended almost everyone, probably even pandas. It was as bad as New England's offensive line play that night.