Who Won This Weekend's Cardinals vs. Dodgers Series? Skunks.

By Rob Perez
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It’s no secret that the Los Angeles Dodgers have had their troubles with the St. Louis Cardinals in recent post seasons; getting eliminated from the 2013 NLCS and 2014 NLDS in excruciating fashion can take its toll on a franchise with lofty expectations. Thus, if you can’t beat them on the field — it’s simple: turn to chemical warfare.

Yes, you read that correctly. There are/were skunks living in the Dodger Stadium visiting team dugout, and while they haven’t sprayed anything/anyone yet … this has to be like the most effective form of legal baseball cheating ever, right?

Answer me this: would you rather face a pitcher who’s hiding/using pine tar on the brim of their hat? Or, have to worry about damn skunks making you smell like death every time you enter the dugout? 10 times out of 10 i’m choosing to face the pitcher with the pine tar, because I am 100% not thinking about the game as long as I know those skunks are somewhere under the bench haunting me.

Absolute genius by the Dodgers — bribe them with Salmon to stay in the visiting dugout/not come over to theirs. This is simply good business. Why haven’t any other teams thought of this? If i’m the general manager of a MLB club, first thing i’m doing Monday morning is trapping/caging/unleashing a bunch of opossums in my stadium’s away team dugout and letting them unleash opossum hell/get in the heads of every opposing player.

Interested to see how this one plays out.

P.S. This brave Animal Control employee may not appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but, he has some serious cojones getting this close to those radioactive time bombs.

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