Weekly Top Five: Reggie Bush's Ridiculous New Chick & Some Sports Stuff
By Tim Ryan
CRM — Wow.
2. Tony La Russa Already Losing It
TSH — If this is La Russa’s temperament in April, I’m excited to see what July brings when the Cardinals are dueling with the Astros for last place and the Pujols-leaving-town talk continues to snowball. It’s been one giant clusterfuck ever since they attended that fateful Glenn Beck rally.
CRM — Who cares about the Cardinals? The Red Sox are 0-6. If only something awful would happen to the Yankees then this would be the best baseball season of all time. OF ALL TIME.
3. LeBron’s Mom
TSH — Have LeBron’s mom, Iverson’s mom, and Marbury’s mom ever partied together? This needs to happen. A summer house together at the Jersey shore would be ideal.
CRM — She has such a great track record of making good decisions that this came as a complete shock to me.
4. UConn, National Champions
TSH — They won the championship on Monday night so we’re obligated to include it, but I would rather live in Pittsburgh than ever see a replay of that game. However, I will always be ‘team tournament’ simply because the assorted fun surrounding the first two days is irreplaceable.
CRM — Sure, they won a few basketball games. All that really matters is that they were voted #1. Also, if Brandon Davies hadn’t had sex, BYU might have won this lottery of a tournament. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m working on securing season tickets for the Utah Jazz.
5. The Masters!
TSH — This event attracts a certain crowd. Reminds me of Seinfeld’s line of “Ahh, Wall Street, bulls, bears, people from Connecticut.” Having said that, I do enjoy this one far more than any of the other majors, and yes, I am rooting for the guy on the cover of Nintendo Golf.
CRM — Rory McIlroy is the man. And at such a young age. I don’t know if I’ve ever actually watched him golf, but these are the types of things I keep hearing.
Honorable Mention
It’s impressive how stupid people are … the Norm MacDonald interview is awesome … Kyrie Irving leaving Duke … A fucking hat!
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This Week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki
TSH — With this very full look, she could easily pass for one of King Roland’s daughters.
CRM — She’s a big time successful wrestler now. What would you wrestling geeks pay to see Snooki and Hernia in a steel cage match?
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From “The Blueprint” and Somewhat Overlooked
[Photos via Getty]