Weekly Top Five: Packers Are Champs, Jerry Sloan, Sloan from Entourage & Jimmer's Girlfriend

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1. Packers Are Super Bowl Champs
TSH – Good for them, but no TV, no beer, and most importantly, no football make Homer go crazy. On the bright side, only two and a half months until the NFL draft.

CRM – Who are we kidding? The NFL is never coming back. This is the worst. The only thing we have to help us through this unending offseason is the tears of Steelers fans. I wish we could bottle them.

2. Jerry Sloan Resigns

TSH – You only had to hear Jerry Sloan speak once to know the guy wasn’t fucking around. Easily one of the more underappreciated NBA personalities in recent memory. He will be dearly missed.

CRM – The guy was an institution. Its too bad he didn’t get to leave on a high note.

3. Carmelo Anthony Trade Rumors, Week 102
TSH – Less than two weeks until the NBA trade deadline. Until then, I’ll keep refilling my antlers with the inspiring enthusiasm of Frank Gallagher.

CRM – The “We Want Melo” chant at MSG was merely a footnote in a game where Blake Griffin’s awesomeness shone as bright as a thousand suns. Also, I think we walked past Chuck Klosterman.

4. Mark Buehrle on Michael Vick
TSH – Such refreshing honesty has me curious about Mark Buehrle’s take on fellow Chicago hero, Jay Cutler.

CRM – Its that kind of classy comment from a classy individual that really sums up the Chicago Meth Sox.

CRM – *shakes head*

Honorable Mention
A Shawn Bradley sighting? Creepy … UConn QB Johnny McEntee is a magician … A fucking hat!

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This Week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki
TSH –
Underneath that elegant outfit, Snooki is wearing Earthquake’s old trunks.

CRM – The commercial where she has the green tint and eats pistachios is disturbing. It haunts me.

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DMX Was Awesome Before He Got Arrested 96 Times

[Photos via Getty, Rex Kramer]