Week 3 NFL Games, Ranked by Watchability

Arizona Cardinals v Baltimore Ravens
Arizona Cardinals v Baltimore Ravens / Todd Olszewski/Getty Images

With last night's expected Titans-Jaguars stinker already behind us, let's look ahead to Sunday and Monday's NFL slate as we rank the other 14 games by watchability.

14. New York Jets (0-2) vs. New England Patriots (2-0)
The Patriots should send Roger Goodell a thank you card, because the NFL's schedule-makers have effectively given them three bye weeks. Their first came last week, their second comes on Sunday, and their third will come in Week 10. The difference is, they won't be credited with a win for that Week 10 bye.

13. Miami Dolphins (0-2) vs. Dallas Cowboys (2-0)
Is this even going to count as a sporting event? The only reason anyone would willingly watch this would be to place bets on how badly Miami will lose. Something is seriously wrong in Big D if the Cowboys can't at least put up a 40-burger on these jokers.

12. Carolina Panthers (0-2) vs. Arizona Cardinals (0-1-1)
The 0-2 Panthers have been set back further, as Cam Newton and his bum ankle have been declared out for Week 3, forcing them to turn to raw backup Kyle Allen. Fortunately, Allen has the NFL's second-worst defense to mop up on.

11. Chicago Bears (1-1) vs. Washington Redskins (0-2)
The Bears are a sad, sad story, possessing one of the NFL's best defenses (fourth, 292.5 YPG) ... and one of the NFL's weakest offenses (30th, 263.5 YPG). The Redskins, despite outscoring the Bears 48-19 over two weeks, have a worse record due to their own pitiful defense (30th, 455 YPG). Anything can happen on Monday night...except excellent football.

10. Cincinnati Bengals (0-2) vs. Buffalo Bills (2-0)
The post-Marvin Lewis era has not gotten off to a good start for the Bengals, but they may have been handed a lifeline for week three: Bills running back Devin Singletary has been ruled out with a hamstring injury, removing one of Buffalo's key offensive weapons.

9. New York Giants (0-2) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1)
The Daniel Jones era begins this week for Big Blue. Lord knows how long it will last.

8. Oakland Raiders (1-1) vs. Minnesota Vikings (1-1)
Two sub-par quarterbacks do battle to see which quarterback is less sub-par when it matters most. Last week, neither Derek Carr, nor Kirk Cousins was that quarterback, and now they'll share the field.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-2) vs. San Francisco 49ers (2-0)
The winless and now Roethlisberger-less Steelers are left to contend with a San Francisco 49ers team that has surprisingly opened the year 2-0. Once-mighty Pittsburgh ranks in the bottom four in both offense and defense, and now they have to trot out Mason Rudolph. Still, the surprising 49ers may slip.

6. Denver Broncos (0-2) vs. Green Bay Packers (2-0)
Vic Fangio's team has gotten off to a disappointing start this season, and team management is still a complete mess. Nevertheless, his newly-built defense has potential to do something great. If they bring pressure to Aaron Rodgers, an upset could be lurking at Lambeau.

5. Atlanta Falcons (1-1) vs. Indianapolis Colts (1-1)
Colts quarterback Jacoby Brissett has been thrust into a nearly-impossible situation with the sudden retirement of Andrew Luck and has coped with it about as well as you would expect so far. He has thrown five touchdown passes and only one interception. It won't get any easier for the newbie against the NFL's third-ranked defense.

4. Detroit Lions (1-0-1) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1)
The Eagles are walking wounded. Carson Wentz is missing key weapons Alshon Jeffery and DeSean Jackson, and he'll have to face one of the NFL's more talented defensive lines after the beating he took last week.

3. New Orleans Saints (1-1) vs. Seattle Seahawks (2-0)
This one's worth watching just in case the refs screw over the Saints yet again (and yes, we know the last two calls were meaningless in the grand scope of things, but still). But it's doubly worth watching for the Seahawks, who pulled out two close, yet unconvincing wins in their first two games. Can they catch lightning in a bottle a third time?

2. Los Angeles Rams (2-0) vs. Cleveland Browns (1-1)
Last week, the Browns started playing like the team everyone expected them to be this season. But sadly, it was against the Jets, so that hardly counts. Can they keep up the momentum against the defending NFC champions this week and prove they truly belong?

1. Baltimore Ravens (2-0) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (2-0)
The only matchup between two 2-0 teams this weekend will also feature the two hottest quarterbacks in football -- reigning MVP Patrick Mahomes, and this year's potential MVP, Lamar Jackson. However, the X-factor is defense: The Ravens have the second-ranked through two weeks, while the Chiefs' D is ranked 20th. That could be the difference in this one.