After a deluge of social media posts and actually researched stories laying the groundwork for impossible conditions and bloated scoring at the U.S. Open, the best golfers in the world went out on Thursday and clowned Winged Foot. Justin Thomas, for instance, had the audacity to shoot a five-under 65. He was among a quarter to post historically low scores at the course when it's hosting the gold standard of frustrating majors.
This, of course, was cause for consternation. There is great pressure on the USGA to provide maximum carnage at this event. Like bloodthirsty Romans roaming the Coliseum, the public demands to see world-class talent humbled at the U.S. Open. Whether that be in June or September, it matters not. Show them the damn high, positive integers!
Thankfully, the ship has come in for fans of polo shirts, wealth management, and rooting for the course. Because the Mamaroneck Monster is rearing its ugly head this morning, swallowing up any hopes and dreams of widespread red scoring.
That sound you hear is the diabolical laughter of dads sitting at home on their couch ignoring the wants and needs of their children to delight in Bryson DeChambeau being swallowed up by the rough or Jon Rahm three-putting for double bogey after finding the fairway with his tee shot. With no sideways rain at the British Open to enjoy this year, this is the Super Bowl of difficulty. The day when the top players look like Jim from sales duffing his way to 52 at the turn while trying to close the deal with Safeway.
What a damn day to be alive and pulling for the conditions instead of the human condition.