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Is 'The Tomorrow War' a Christmas Movie or an 'I Think You Should Leave' Sketch?

By Stephen Douglas
The Tomorrow War Christmas Party.
The Tomorrow War Christmas Party.
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The Tomorrow War came out on Amazon Prime a few weeks ago, but some people, like this humble blogger, are just getting around to seeing it. The Chris Pratt-led Sci-Fi movie has a lot going on in it, but at the center of this alien monster movie is the story of a family. The story of a father trying to get home to his family. Oh, and the main timeline is set around the holidays. It's time to ask, is The Tomorrow War a Christmas movie?

The evidence is right there. It literally starts at a holiday party, just like Die Hard, which was also originally released in July. It literally ends with a father returning to his family with Christmas lights decorating the house. And do you know how I know he's a legitimate dad? Because he returns from a trip to save the world where he had a fist fight with an alien monster and instead of just going inside he brings the trash can in from the curb.

That is just one of the many choices The Tomorrow War makes. You know, like casting Sam Richardson as a guy who travels through time on Christmas to team up with an old man to fight an invasion threatening to wipe out the human race.

I'd say you can't make this up but Tim Robinson already did in season 1 of I Think You Should Leave.

In fairness to The Tomorrow War, the alien monster things are f---ing awesome. They look awesome. They're ugly as hell and terrifying and seeing them shot with incredibly large guns is kind of satisfying. The rest of the movie was kind of a mess, but hot damn the stuff with the monsters was awesome. Right down to them being a shipment of intergalactic pets like the space ship was an 18-wheeler. And if aliens do ever visit Earth, of course it would be on accident.

The scale and then intimacy of the movie is the most amusing part of The Tomorrow War. It's a big monster movie with time travel and the full resources of the American (worldwide?) military, but it's also about family reconnecting and a ragtag bunch of people secretly flying into Russia to set off a whole bunch of explosions so they can take some pictures, but instead deciding they didn't want saving the world to get bogged down by bureaucratic red tape.

Also, there's Checkov's kid who loves volcanos, which was incredibly delightful and but also so dumb. It kind of sums up the entire movie. Lots of enjoyable stuff that doesn't really make sense. Plus J.K. Simmons in a bitchin' beard.

I wonder what The Tomorrow War will be. It feels like this is the kind of movie that you might end up watching multiple times on cable, but on Amazon, how many times could you possibly go out of your way to watch it? Enough to necessitate a sequel I guess. So see you next Christmas?

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