The Bowl Game: Big Ben Strikes Midnight

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Starting to get some strong Kirk Cousins vibes from Baker Mayfield. * Ben Roethlisberger to Heinz Field: You'll always be my main squeeze. * Not sure whose jurisdiction it would fall under, but having 96 yards on 33 first-half pass attempts should be a crime against humanity. * There's dinking. There's dunking. And there's throwing the ball 46 times for a combined distance of a fly ball that wouldn't reach PNC Park's power-alley warning track. * The Big Ten may have the greatest collection of talent in college basketball, none better than Wisconsin's Johnny Davis. * Thirty-seven points against Purdue in Mackey and he honestly could have scored more if he wanted to. * Are we 100 percent sure Rob Manfred isn't doing a bit? * Because it's a damn good one if that's what's going on. * Who knew MLB Network's biggest bad boy stands 5-foot-5 and is famous for wearing bowties. * Jesse Palmer taking over for Chris Harrison as host of The Bachelor: what took so long? * Is it just me or does this Clayton look an awful lot like Clayton Kershaw? *

Desmond Bane says we should be debating if Ja Morant is the best point guard in the NBA right now. * Hey Desmond, if this whole basketball thing doesn't work out, know that you have a bright future and a real knack for content creation. * Morant against the Brooklyn Nets last night: 36 points, six rebounds and eight assists in a convincing win with Antonio Brown sitting courtside. * The rare occasion where Ja Rule > Jay-Z. * The Super Gremlin sounds like a 1980s movie with Fred Savage. * Or the kind of car your mom's friend Ron drives. * Speaking of Ron, he's sure been around a lot since Dad left, huh? * Oklahoma's Caleb Williams is entering the transfer portal but may return to Oklahoma. Buyer beware. * So Trae Young hasn't had any trouble acclimating to the pro game * Fifty-six points against Portland last night to go with 14 assists *

If Mike Tomlin doesn't need to show how tough he is by refusing to dress for the weather, then no one else does. * Think there's a good chance that Tomlin could coach for 40 years and never once finish below .500. * Who at CNN is surveying the state of play and deciding the answer is to bring more Trump-friendly commentators into the fold? * Did you see Ryan Clark filling in as host of Get Up? There's no job too big for that guy. * Parent corner: Is it just me or is getting harder and harder to find Uncrustables out there? * The good news for the Miami Heat: they held Stephen Curry to 3-for-17 shooting. The bad news is that they lost. * Would it be indecent to propose a moratorium on all ManningCast content until July? * Eli Manning. Peyton Manning. Roger Goodell. That's a lot of quarter-zips. * Nothing says comedy like two brothers dressed like club pros at a New Jersey Golf Galaxy. *

ABC is claiming American Auto is "the next Office." We'll see about that. * No one is more invested in Baker Mayfield rebounding next season than the good people at Progressive. * Speaking of Progressive, did you know that Flo was in Mad Men? * Does anyone actually like it when someone calls the NBA "The Association?" * Najee Harris is always in the game. * Sources tell The Big Lead that Mina Kimes won her fantasy football championship, which begs the question: why the hell would you play against Mina Kimes in a fantasy football league? * Look, obviously Scrooge McDuck could have afforded a better helicopter pilot than Launch Pad if he'd wanted to. Don't you people understand that he liked the danger? * When you're that rich, cheating death is the only adventure. * Why do you think all of the world's millionaires are racing into space? *

Snoop Dogg appearing as a guest on 80 percent of television shows currently airing is pretty good evidence that marijuana doesn't make a person lazy. * Bruce Arians is trying to skip the part where he takes some accountability. * Aaron Rodgers bragging about owning a copy of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged had a very strong Coming Home for the Summer After Freshman Year vibe. * It's time we brace ourselves for the possibility that Tom Brady will still be playing winning football as he crosses the Wilford Brimley line. * The Washington Football Team will unveil a new name on Feb. 2. * It had better be Groundhogs. * Seriously, though, it should be Pigskins. * All of Michigan State's good players are declaring for the NFL Draft. * Not saying the Spartans won't win 11 games again anytime soon, but I'm not not saying it either. * Jalen Nailor to the New England Patriots in the fifth round. Speak it into existence. *