The Big Ten Should Really Stop Naming Things

Here’s the plan.

"With that, the institutions plan to honor one citizen of Iowa and one citizen of Nebraska prior to each Heroes Game for their extraordinary act. The heroes will be nominated by friends, neighbors or co-workers and will be guests of the two teams at the game where they will be honored on-field during the games. Each will also have their name and hometown etched on the Heroes Game trophy."

This is well intentioned. It’s also the type of “tradition” that would never arise organically, because it’s stupid. The “Heroes Game” is bland, nebulous and devoid of a local or even a human context. Define a hero, a legend or a leader concretely. Define them distinctly from one another. Like the division names, the term’s only value is its vagueness. It could not possibly offend anyone, which makes it offensive.

Nebraska and Iowa could have developed a cool rivalry and tradition, like the Little Brown Jug and others in the Big Ten but the conference decreeing it in such soulless fashion killed it. It made it manifestly corporate and uncool. Divorcing the schools from their real rivals was a first slap in the face. Jejune branding was the second.

The “Heroes Game” deserves the 2011 Hayes-Tressel award, for mind-blowing failure of conception. Here is a fitting theme song.

[Photo via Getty]