Roundup: Tampa Bay Rays' Small Funeral; Commander Biden Leaves White House; Major Twitter Changes

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If Urban Meyer coaches Michigan State next year I'm disappearing into the woods ... Giants' Evan Neal calls out 'sheep' fans for booing, suggests they 'flip hot dogs and hamburgers somewhere' ... Certainly an interesting week in Washington ... And just like that, brick-and-mortal Toys R Us stores are back ... NFL considering a fine for Jamal Adams ... Some of these Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce thinkpieces are overlapping ... Jay Mohr recalls almost dying while wrestling Chris Farley ... Tampa Bay Rays went out quietly and without much of an audience ... 75,000 Kaiser nurses, pharmacists and other workers have walked off the job ... Here's why Twitter is looking a bit different today ... Vivek Ramaswamy vs. Chris Christie is an interesting undercard ... Missouri high school teacher put on leave after district officials discover her OnlyFans account ... Jaylen Brown left-hand truthers unite ...

Some things are much older than you think. Here are some of them. [Mental Floss]

Is Sam Bankman-Fried’s defense even trying to win? [The Verge]

We should all aspire to love something as much as Commander Biden loves biting people. He's got that dog in him. [CNN]

Drew Barrymore's writers aren't coming back. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Hell yes, this is how you write a headline. [US Weekly]

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. made an all-time awful baserunning gaffe.

J.T. Realmuto had himself a game as the Phillies advanced to the NLDS.

Kudos to Jimmy Butler for reminding everyone of some forgotten emo songs. Secondhand Serenade — "Fall For You"