Halloween is here and, once again, sports media talents can't let the trick-or-treaters get more attention than them. Costumes were worn across the networks today and they were begging to be judged. Therefore, I not only judged them, I ranked them.
7. Matthew Berry
Unfortunately, not all people are judged equally, and this is what happens when you appear in Avengers: Endgame. I expected better here. This costume by Matthew Berry is also a little out of touch. I knew I had seen these little green toys before, but I couldn't remember just where. This was a hot costume back in the day. Now, well, not so much. Given this "idea," Berry should have just dressed up as an actor who made a cameo some big movie.
6. Field Yates
The problem here is effort. Gardner Minshew is a great Halloween costume idea but a ton of people are going to go as him. Therefore, you have to elevate your game. Not only did Field not do that, he didn't even take the time to grow the mustache. He simply used a fake one like the kids asking for candy tonight will be doing.
This is a double L for him, too. He could have benefited from bringing the mustache back to ESPN and it would have looked pretty cool this past month on his fantasy football show. Taking the easy route never gets you better than seven on a list that doesn't even go to 10.
5. Joy Taylor
Not sure what Colin Cowherd is dressing up as tonight, but his co-host is likely dunking on him. The wig works and the facial hair is intriguing enough to make one search who Joy Taylor is dressing up as. Jake Shuttlesworth from He Got Game is the answer. This costume will get her some candy tonight, maybe not a Reese's, but definitely a Hershey or two.
4. Israel Gutierrez
As a Britney Spears stan, this is well done. Izzy will never be as cool as her, but he can pretend to be for one night. I can relate to the feeling. When I was nine, I dressed up as a football player. I never became as popular as this random football player with generic colors, but I sure was that night.
3. Around the Horn crew
Unlike most people on the internet, I'm going to be honest, I didn't know who three of these people were dressing up as. But they all look cool, I guess. Stugotz seems to have put some thought into is, Clinton Yates is trying, Woody Paige just looks like he came to work and Sarah Spain as Gardner Minshew barely topped Field Yates' performance.
2. Lock It In crew
I mean, it sucks to be Around the Horn because the Lock It In guys embarrassed them as a staff -- and no, it's not because I like wrestling. This comes despite Clay Travis showing too much of his chest. If you're actually Ric Flair, that look is fine, but come on now.
The other three were on top of their games. Rachel Bonnetta also reminds me of Charlotte Flair, so, that helps. Cousin Sal and Todd Fuhrman each put in a B-level performance. Which, if you combine with an A and D, comes to a pretty good average.
1. Pardon The Interruption
There is something about bald men past the age of 60 dressing up for Halloween. Mike Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser are the champs of these rankings. Part of that is due to them looking so uncomfortable each and every year they dress up.
Wilbon as Kyrie is brilliant. He also looks pretty handsome in that jersey. From what we can tell, it's not tucked in. Nobody has annoyed Mr. Wilbon -- outside of Kornheiser -- more over the past two months than Matt Nagy. A simple glance at his tweets on Sundays will tell you that. So Kornheiser dressing up as the thing that annoys Wilbon most is awesome. That's another 9.5 for Tony on Halloween.