Roundup: 49ers Beat the Lions, Scott Pioli is the Worst & an Amazing Thierry Henry Goal Off a Corner Kick

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49ers 27, Lions 19. Why can’t Detroit can’t beat any good teams, asks columnist. [Detroit News]

An incredible takedown of Scott Pioli after the Chiefs fell to 0-2. [Star]

“Billy Gillispie has been ordered to live in a stress-free environment for 30 days.” So that means he won’t be fired for another month, right? [Avalanche Journal]

Jozy Altidore netted a hat trick for AZ Alkmaar over the weekend. [Big Apple Soccer]

Very strong column on Jim Calhoun’s retirement. [Courant]

College football stock up? The Pac-12 coaches, definitely. [Plain Dealer]

Nice profile of the West Coast QB coach all the pros use. [LA Times]

Andrew Luck got his first NFL win as the Colts held off Christian Ponder and the Vikings. [Indy Star]

Bobby Valentine clarified his “weakest roster” comment. Why haven’t the Red Sox fired him yet? [AP]

I’m enjoying the Patriots’ loss way too much. But I’m sure the Jets will lose to Miami this week, so I should probably calm down. [Times]

The Raiders lost to the Dolphins, 35-13, and might be the worst team in the NFL. [Oakland Trib]

More tough news for the Xavier basketball program. [Cincinnati.com]

How NFL hurry-up offenses are impacting the TV networks. [WSJ]

Tom Hanks told this story at Michael Clarke Duncan’s eulogy.

A few days late on this, but Mike Francesa offered up a lengthy response to falling asleep on the air last week. Starts around the 1 min mark. [via Hot Clicks]

Thierry Henry bent in this corner kick.