Roger Clemens Will Give Perjury Trial Another Go

A federal judge ruled Friday that Roger Clemens must face another trial on charges of lying about drug use, although the judge criticized prosecutors’ mishandling of evidence during a July mistrial and questioned the fairness of making the former star pitcher pay to defend himself twice.

That’s some quality judging. “You guys were awful the first time and it seems kind of messed up that this dude has to keep paying to defend himself, but I’ve got big plans this weekend and I never liked this guy when he was with the Yankees, so do it again. Judge out!” Luckily, Clemens made around $150,000,000 (give or take) during his baseball career. Plus he had a couple endorsements and probably charged for autographs because he just seems like he would do that.

[Boston Herald, Getty]

Previously: Roger Clemens’ Farce Comes To Fruition
Previously: Judge declares mistrial in Clemens case