Video Emerges of Small Child Safely Exiting Slide That Sent Boston Police Officer Flying

There's a viral video out of Boston this week showing a police officer exiting a children's slide at a local playground at an alarming rate of speed. The officer comes absolutely flying out of the chute like a rocket-propelled crash test dummy. According to Boston 25, the officer was hurt and received medical attention, but did not miss any time at work.
Boston, MA - A Boston Police officer sustained a head injury after a mishap at a playground on Congress St downtown. Boston EMS treated the officer. pic.twitter.com/tVjsK2N252
— Live Boston (@LiveBoston617) August 1, 2023
One question many people had after seeing this video (many, many times) was why did the city of Boston install a slide that is so dangerous? Well, a second video emerged on Wednesday morning showing a child safely using the same slide.
For reference here’s my kid 2 weeks ago on the same slide that rocked that Boston cop. No idea how he attained warp speed. pic.twitter.com/iAz4MgY7SV
— Weird Foothill Guy (@WFG_DEN) August 2, 2023
Having seen this... what the hell happened to that cop? Was he greased up? Tied to public transit with a fishing line? Was he returning from another dimension? How did he get going so fast that he went well beyond the landing area while a child is able to slowly and safely stop right at the end?
We need our top scientists on this one right away. More importantly, we need a sign put up that keeps adults off this slide. There is clearly some evil force that ejects anyone who doesn't belong there. This slide is from 2-12 year olds and not a day older. If you're taller than this, you will be dealt with.