Point Break Remake Confirms (Again) Hollywood is Out of Ideas

By Jason McIntyre

Johnny Utah. Surfing. Warchild. Robbing banks. Gary Busey before he became a caricature. Vintage Patrick Swayze. There’s so much to love about Point Break, the timeless Cult Classic that I’ll still watch when it comes on TBS in 2028. (The only weak link? Lori Petty. Not a huge fan. Would have preferred Michelle Pfeiffer in this spot.)

And now, Hollywood is going to ruin Point Break’s legacy by remaking the film.

"“The new version is set in the world of international extreme sports, and like the original involves an undercover FBI agent infiltrating a criminal ring,” Alcon said."

International extreme sports? What the fuck is that? Pfft. Absolutely nobody likes this idea. Nobody. Off-the-cuff casting, anyone?

Pappas: Robert Downey
Utah: Emile Hirsch
Bodhi: Hayden Christensen
Tyler: Adrianne Palicki from Friday Night Lights
Warchild: (MMA fighter to be named later)