Pete Wentz Is Playing Pickup Tennis In the Park Up to Six Hours At a Time, Living His Best Life

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In what is surely the best thing to appear on the internet this week, GQ's Danielle Cohen dug into the eating and recreational habits of Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz, who revealed that he's on a bit of a tennis kick. And by tennis kick I mean he's spending up to six hours at a time playing anyone in his general field of vision, from famous people like Donald Faison and Zack Braff to normies who are thnkfl fr th mmrs. Meaning that, at any given time, the answer to the eternal question where is your boy tonight is: on the public courts, knowing full well they are the last good thing about this part of town.

It starts with me being like, "I have a hard out at 11," Wentz told GQ. "And then I'm like, “Well...I guess we could play one more set.” And then the next person shows up, and I'm like, “I guess we could play…” and all of a sudden the day completely gets away from you.

You want hearts dropped and names broken? Wentz did both, while alluding to the egalitarian nature of the game. The purity of doing it for the scars and stories, not the fame.

 I play next to Gavin Rossdale a lot, but we don't really play together. Steve Carrellis a very good tennis player. He's got a pretty wicked one-handed backhand. I play doubles with Jeff Probst all the time, and he's very competitive. It's good for me, 'cause my coach is, like, "Dude, you gotta care."

The great thing about a game like tennis is you leave your accolades at the door. It doesn't matter how cool you are or how funny you are or how good of an actor you are. If you can't hold your serve you can't hold your serve. Nobody can do that for you. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters what you can do for three sets or two sets and a tie break.

Crystal balls are always cloudy except for when one looks into the past, but it would simply be an incredible story if Wentz could find some mid-life success on the amateur tour. If there's an amateur tour. It seems like a no-brainer for someone to create a celebrity tennis league and put the matches on television. That would be incredible television. Or a disaster. As a member of the press, I'd be forced to pray for whichever headline's worse.

Wentz, who read the Andre Agassi book as has affected his on-court style, seems to be doing this in the hopes he can play tennis in a movie if he's cast to play tennis in a movie even though he doesn't really act in movies. This is truly a man who has figured out life, completely content to hum hallelujahs on break points and tiebreakers.

A renaissance man swinging away, with no intention of going down anytime soon. This is the headspace we should all aspire to find.