People Are Ascribing Magical Powers to a Normal Baseball Kitten and I Won't Have It

A precocious little kitten ran onto the Busch Stadium field during the sixth inning of Wednesday night’s Royals-Cardinals game. It bounced around for a little bit, sniffing Lorenzo Cain and eluding what we assume to be a professional cat herder before order was restored. On the very next pitch, Yadier Molina blasted a grand slam.

Magic, right? Some sort of sign from above suggesting the powers-that-be are invested Cardinals fans, right? Has to be related to the infamous Rally Squirrel from St. Louis’ 2011 World Series run, right?

Nah. Allow me to be a buzzkill. I think it was just a normal cat, orphaned and scared with no direction home who saw some open space and went exploring. In fact, I’d posit the feline not only doesn’t have an interest in the Cardinals’ win-loss record, but couldn’t tell you the first thing about baseball. Its thoughts are likely dominated by two things: finding food and a sunny place to sleep.

I’d suggest the cat’s actions were motivated by instinct and his foray out onto the field was not part of a masterplan to spark a rally. If the cat had thought it all through, it wouldn’t have reacted so violently and impulsively once it was wrangled. The fact that the cat repeatedly bit an hourly employee is evidence this was an impulsive episode that went south almost immediately.

The mammal most responsible for Yadier Molina’s home run is Yadier Molina. Now, if a cat had interrupted an Andres Galarraga at-bat or rubbed against Karl-Anthony Town’s legs, then maybe, just maybe this idea of supernatural powers could be entertained. The symbolism would be too strong to ignore.

Call me crazy but Cardinals fans are really reaching with these rally animals. First a squirrel, now a cat. How about, uh, just spitballing here, a rally bird? Is that too obvious?

Anyway, here’s hoping this very normal cat who is in no way to credit for the big hit last night found a warm bed and saucer of milk last night. Only then would this whole stunt have been worth it.