Nick Saban Directing All Future Kirby Smart Questions to a Soda Bottle

" #Alabama's Nick Saban on Kirby Smart to #UGA: "You can ask the bottle, don't ask me." pic.twitter.com/izK1YuIYPQ — Kyle Burger (@kyle_burger) December 3, 2015 "

Nick Saban cannot and will not be commenting on the future employment status of Kirby Smart. Yesterday it was reported that Smart would be the next head coach at Georgia “barring a last-minute snag.” Again, Saban can’t and won’t talk about that. If you have any further questions, talk to this University of Alabama-approved and endorsed inanimate object. Via CoachingSearch:

"I can’t say any — I don’t have anything else to say about it, so don’t ask. There is no more. I know you would like, in some kind of way, to extract something out of this bottle that’s not there. It’s not there. You all speculate and create things, and then you want people to respond to it. Get this bottle to respond to it, because I don’t know anything more than that. I told you everything I know. You can ask the bottle, but don’t ask me.”"

This will likely lead to two things.
1. A Coca Cola ad campaign where a bottle of soda answers all the questions at a press conference.
2. Players and coaches directing questions to various foods. (Possible scenario: “My Skittles are just here so they don’t get fined.” – Marshawn Lynch.)