NFL Podium Fashion: Andy Dalton's Hair and Andrew Whitworth's Existence

As we’ve learned throughout the course of this vibrant NFL season, the postgame podium can serve as a player’s best friend or their most sworn enemy. It’s proved to raise the personal brands of already established stars — like Russ, Cam, and Tom — to even higher levels, while sinking others like a Newman cannonball. Oh yes, we’re lookin’ directly at you, Carson Palmer, Big Ben, and Blake Bortles.

By now, the journey has spoken for itself and taught us what we know all long — only to a more ALARMING degree:

Sometimes it works. And sometimes it does NOT. These are their stories.

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Aaron Rodgers

Aaron Rodgers: There's nothing like a road playoff win

?: https://t.co/8TS3KgaXBC pic.twitter.com/gu1SM4UKDb
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) January 11, 2016

A blue leather jacket to go with an explosive zip-up sweater? Whatever works, I suppose. But it doesn’t work.

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Ben Roethlisberger

Finding it difficult to mock Big Ben this week even though he appears to be housing a family of rowdy chipmunks within his robust cheeks. But I guess I just did.

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Kirk Cousins

Can you look at me — or yourself for that matter — and honestly say you had faith in this storied movie usher? Easy money from a predictably stirring disaster.

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Clay Matthews

Hear what the #Packers had to say following Sunday's playoff win. #GBvsWAS

?: https://t.co/XnlUwFehEv pic.twitter.com/e54AP6kao3
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) January 11, 2016

Easily one of the most disturbing pube explosions to ever take place on somebody’s face.

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Andy Dalton

Andy Dalton may have been forced to take a seat, but his hair downright REFUSED to sit down. What a moment. Seriously, guys, CHILLS.

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Andrew Whitworth

“Hi Andrew, Tim Ryan here from The Big Lead. So what does it feel like to… oh.”

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Fun Fact: Eric Berry is color blind. Allegedly. Hopefully.

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Bill O’Brien

The Texans are a mess-seeking horror show. Cannot imagine being a fan of this team and their propensity for quarterbacks that would likely be No. 2 on the depth chart of numerous high school football programs in Texas.

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Teddy Bridgewater

No playoff win, NO PODIUM. The NFL is one of the harshest businesses in the world.

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Pete Carroll

Can you win the game in the first quarter?#SEAvsMIN #NFLPlayoffs https://t.co/Ht2rVA12lu
— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) January 11, 2016

I gotta be honest here. I never liked Pete Carroll, but that was from a distance. Watch this clip — while ignoring his unfashionable hat — and admire the charisma. Tremendous moment.

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