It's Truly Amazing Major League Baseball Players Are Going to Wear Those Pants


The bad new Major League Baseball uniforms are all anyone's talking about right now. And for good reason because it's impossible to see some of the footage emerging from Spring Training without wondering if we're all part of an enormous prank. The particulars of what happened and who is to blame can be sorted out by more serious people. Barring something unforeseen, baseball will plow straight ahead and these will be the threads to tell the sartorial story of 2024.

Which is downright incredible.

The jerseys are taking their slings and arrows. But it is the pants where the real hilarity lies. Check out some of this social fodder from the past few days where athletes in one of this country's four major sports leagues have no choice but to stand in front of cameras knowing that they look ridiculous.

We're poised to have seven or eight months of dudes going out there with nothing but a thin, spring roll-like fabric separating the world from their undercarriages. It'll be an army of Steve Lyonses out there only they won't have to do the work pulling down their trousers for everyone to see what's underneath. And even if that's covered up by the tucked-in jersey, well, is that any better? Should a person be able to read the tag of a tucked-in jersey?

My deepest apologies if it is more difficult to make pants than everyone outside of the industry believes. Yet it sure seems like 99.9 percent of the pants I've ever seen in my life have accomplished their singular goal of not being see-through. Even at bargain basement price points. That a pant could fail so abjectly on this big of a stage rocks the conscience.

At the end of the day, all this is a great recipe for a laugh. Maybe a win for baseball.