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New McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski's First Order of Business Should Be to Fix Their Watery Coffee

DES PLAINES, IL - OCTOBER 24:  In this photo illustration, a McChicken sandwich sits with typical Dollar Menu items sold at a  McDonald's restaurant on October 24, 2013 in Des Plaines, Illinois. McDonald's has announced it will make changes to its low-priced Dollar Menu, which includes items like coffee, small fries, hamburgers and apple pies. The new menu, dubbed the Dollar Menu and More, will offer some higher priced options such as the grilled Onion Cheddar Burger and a McChicken sandwich.  (Photo Illustration by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
Scott Olson/Getty Images

Chris Kempczinski is the new CEO of McDonald's after his predecessor Steve Easterbrook was ousted for having a consensual relationship with an employee. As a major fan of the establishment I have some unsolicited advice for the new man in charge: His first order of business should be to revamp their unsatisfying watery coffee.

The fact of the matter is that McDonald's coffee does not stand up in comparison to Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, 7-Eleven, or really virtually anywhere for that matter. It's a shame because McDonald's breakfast is otherwise so robust that if their coffee was even tolerable I'd hardly ever stop anywhere else.

On my daily commute dropping my daughter off with her grandparents, I pass one McDonald's, two Dunkin Donuts, and two 7-Eleven's. The Sausage McMuffin at McDonald's for $1 is unsurpassable in terms of value, taste, and how filling it is. It's perfect (except for when they put the American cheese slice on the bottom of the sandwich instead of the top and mess up the whole texture; what are they doing??).

Dunkin Donuts has the breakfast wraps which are mediocre and not filling, and then sandwiches that are quite good but also expensive and too filling. A coffee and a breakfast sandwich at DDs is going to run you over $7, which is double the price of what I pay when I stop at McDonald's.

Meanwhile, the two 7-Eleven's inexplicably don't have breakfast sandwiches in their heat lamp windows. They make the insane calculation that people would rather buy warm-ish cheeseburgers at 8 in the morning. I get that they'll heat up the cold breakfast sandwiches, but once you bring the microwave into the equation you're adding time I'm not trying to spare, and it also invariably comes out soggy.

So there's no perfect solution for me here, but if Chris Kempczinski wants to make friends and influence people in his new position he would be wise to mandate that McDonald's coffee is stronger or perhaps add a dark roast option so the consumer can choose water or diesel. Charge 50 cents or a buck more for dark roast for all I care. It would still be better value than Dunkin Donuts and better taste than 7-Eleven.