Internet

Local Author Shocked by Similarities, Differences Between New York City and Wisconsin

By Stephen Douglas
New York City Architecture And Monuments
New York City Architecture And Monuments / Roy Rochlin/Getty Images
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New Internet outrage bait just dropped. Well, to be more accurate, a new piece about the differences between New York City and somewhere besides New York City was published on Insider.com yesterday. Today the piece made its way to the front page of Yahoo!. It is, as usual, a ridiculous collection of words passed off as observations intended to inflame people into hate-clicking.

The premise of, "I'm a Midwesterner who moved to New York City. Here are 13 things that surprised me," is that a writer moved to New York City from Wisconsin a few years ago and, boy, is it different! Here are some highlights. Via Insider:

When I tell people I'm from Wisconsin, it always gets a reaction. People usually asklots of the same questions, such as "Did you grow up on a farm?" or "Where is that?" or "Wait, is that a state?"

Imagine someone from New York City - or anywhere really - having any sort of reaction to learning someone was from Wisconsin. Holy shit! That's so exotic! What even is that!? There are like a billion people in NYC every single day and many of them are from somewhere else. Wow, Wisconsin you say!? A state from this country? Amazing!

NYC isn't very friendly!

When I walk around my hometown, saying hello to everyone you pass is common courtesy. In New York City, such friendliness would be viewed with suspicion. Even making eye contact with someone you don't know is a breach of city etiquette. 

There's also a practical reason why greeting strangers doesn't happen here — there are just too many people. You'd be saying "hello" or "good morning" multiple times for every step you took. 

Argh! The traffic!

This piece also features the classic - no one owns cars! Yet there is so much traffic and I know many people who own cars! And there's a ton of traffic. And no parking because of all the cars.

The island of Manhattan is only 13.4 miles long. That's a drive that would take about 20 minutes in the Midwest. But getting anywhere in the city takes much longer because of traffic and frequent subway delays. It continues to baffle me how traveling a few miles can take the better part of an hour.

Though the author does get credit for finally telling the world about foldable shopping carts, which people apparently own instead of cars.

I don't think I'd ever seen anyone use a foldable shopping cart before I moved to the city. When I first bought one to use for large grocery trips, picnics, and other errands, my friends joked that I looked like a grandmother while pushing it down the street. Now they ask to borrow it, so the joke's on them.

So the Midwesterner is the one to introduce all the people in New York to the foldable shopping cart?

"Umbrellas are a must in New York."

In Wisconsin, they simply go inside when it rains! Genius!

There are beautiful state parks and hiking trails just a short distance outside the city.
When I moved to New York City, I didn't know about the natural beauty of the rest of New York state or how close it was to Manhattan. I've enjoyed discovering the gorgeous views and getting some fresh air whenever I feel a little homesick.

The absolute gall it takes to start this by talking about how New Yorkers know nothing about where Wisconsin is and then openly marvel because they knew nothing about another state. Incredible content!

The column closes by pointing out that grocery stores are smaller (OK?), city kitchens don't have garbage disposals (are garbage disposals a Wisconsin-specific thing??), and that New Yorkers are friendly and you often see people you know, like it's a small town. And these are shocking things.

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