Kevin James Will Play Sean Payton in New Happy Madison Netflix Movie About Bountygate

Kevin James
Kevin James / Mireya Acierto/Getty Images

Have you ever wondered exactly what Sean Payton got up to when he was suspended for a season by the NFL after the Bountygate scandal? Have you ever wanted that period of Payton's life acted out by Paul Blart? If so, do I have great news for you!

Peter King reported in his weekly FMIA column that Kevin James will play the New Orleans Saints head coach in a new Netflix movie called Home Team, produced by Happy Madison. Yes. Adam Sandler is making a movie about Payton's forced year off and tagged his old pal James to play the part:

[Kevin] James is going to play Sean Payton in a Netflix movie called “Home Team,” produced by Happy Madison Productions. (Sound familiar? It’s the Adam Sandler company.) Imagine this: The plotline begins in 2012, when Payton is suspended for the season by commissioner Roger Goodell for the Saints’ bounty scandal, which gives Payton the chance to re-assess his life and put it in some perspective. As part of his new life, Payton becomes the offensive coach for his son Connor’s sixth-grade football team, the Warriors, in the Dallas area. (Thus, the “Home Team” title of the flick.) Filming of the movie begins this year. Payton read the script recently, made some corrections, and here it comes. My one thought about casting: James is going to need to lose a few pounds to play Payton.

I am... not entirely sure what to do with this knowledge except make sure everyone knows about it. I don't know why post-Bountygate Payton needs a feel-good redemption arc involving youth football? There have been worse Happy Madison movie ideas that have been executed, I suppose.

You can now move along with your day with the perhaps haunting knowledge lingering around the edges of your mind that we will soon live in a world where Kevin James plays Sean Payton in a movie.