Joe Burrow's Broken Phone Will Allow Him to Finally Play Good Football in the SEC Championship

Stephen Douglas
Texas A&M v LSU
Texas A&M v LSU / Sean Gardner/Getty Images

The Georgia Bulldogs are in trouble. Joe Burrow, LSU's Heisman hopeful quarterback, broke his phone. Is he angry? No. He's free of distractions and there is nothing anyone in the entire dang SEC can do about it.

What exactly happened to Burrow's phone? No one knows. Maybe he dropped it while juggling playbooks and text books. Maybe it burst into flames from so many "good luck" texts. Maybe he was too focused on the SEC title game to even know what happened. All that matters is that Georgia is screwed.

Free of distractions, Joe Burrow can finally concentrate on football and take his final form. He'll be focused, unlike during the Tigers' 45-38 win over the then 9th-ranked Texas Longhorns when Burrow carelessly threw his first interception of the season. Or when he was held to a season-low 293 passing yards against No, 7 Florida. If he wasn't concentrating on what he might be missing on his phone, maybe he wouldn't have missed those three passes. And who knows where his head was against Ole Miss last month when he threw a season-high two interceptions. Now, 489 yards and five touchdowns seems like a lot, but would those numbers have been better if he wasn't so concerned about what was happening on TikTok or Angry Birds?

This is Burrow's chance to finally be great. Unencumbered by the shackles of his cellular telephone he can rise from the ashes of mediocrity, a shining beacon of concentrated football concentration. What's the record for best SEC championship game ever played? Burrow doesn't know, because he can't look up the answer on his phone, but Georgia is going to find out first hand on Saturday.