Stop me if you've heard this one before but a Serious Football-Talking Pundit has shaded their Cam Newton criticism over the usual lines and veered into the fashion department.
Jeff Garcia, who analyzes the game and apparently also sartorial decisions for NBC Sports Bay Area, did not hold back in lighting up the struggling Patriots quarterback after an abysmal performance in New England's lopsided loss to the Niners.
“You go into this game two touchdowns, four interceptions," he said. "You throw, what, three more interceptions? You get yanked in the second half. There’s nothing good going your way. Why are you dressing like that to bring more attention to yourself?”
“I’d be trying to ask the equipment manager, ‘Put me in your jock sock cart and sneak me in the back door and I’ll show up on the field and do the best that I can,’” Garcia continued. “This just goes back to a couple years of just watching this guy and seeing him at the podium and yet what he’s doing on the field does not translate to being that guy (who dresses like that).”
Put me in your jock sock cart? What is this, a hilarious episode of The Little Rascals in which they sneak into the big game? Or an even grittier reboot of The Town featuring Jeremy Renner sneaking into Foxborough under the cover of Stephon Gilmore's sweaty unmentionables?
Let's make no mistake. Newton has been abysmal, especially since contracting a potentially lethal virus. Over his last two games, he's thrown no touchdowns and five picks and the Patriots have -- gasped -- veered toward a brand of irrelevance completely antithetical to the Bill Belichickian ideal.
What he wears to and fro has little to do with his performance. It's just a low-hanging thing for the uncritical to get upset by. Garcia's comments might carry a little more weight had he not been previously seen in public dressed like the pallbearer at a WWE funeral, the bassist in a bad Woodstock cover band, and someone serving as co-counsel to Saul Goodman.
There's no real point in piling and enumerating just how specious and silly this argument is. Not when his employer tweeted out the clip, then had to think better of it and attempt to memory-hole it after it was too late. Never a good sign.