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OMG Did You See The Thing?

Kyle Koster
Maddie Meyer/GettyImages
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If you missed last night's NBA opener between the Philadelphia 76ers and Boston Celtics, you missed a more physically fit and productive James Harden scoring 35 points on 9-for-14 shooting while grabbing eight rebounds and handing out seven assists. You also missed the Celtics using a highly efficient offensive attack to win 126-117. Which means you also missed Harden dropping Marcus Smart (emoji face goes here), then shimmying on an extremely important play that netted his team a grand total of zero points because the resulting wide-open three-pointer didn't get much closer to the rim than a sprawling Smart did.

The empty possession was immortalized on social media with everyone scrambling to a Thesaurus for a synonym the two eyeballs.

There is no doubt that I'm getting older and more out of touch. So take this with a grain of salt or a whole spoonful. It's still a bit crazy to me that it seems not to matter that Harden tossed up a hilarious brick because a defender fell down. Hardass coaches my entire life said a cool move wasn't worth anything if it didn't result in any tangible gain on the scoreboard. These men were certainly wrong about many things as their sunglassed videos in the front seat of their F150s confirm. But they weren't wrong about this.

It has to matter that Harden lobbed a cement mixer into glass and nothing else. Doesn't it? Has consumption of sports progressed or regressed so far that the memes and GIFS supersede the box score? Is that really a good thing? Am I just shouting at a cloud?

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