Slick Salesperson Gets Jacksonville Jaguars to Purchase Very Expensive Urinals

Finally a way to see if you're properly hydrated.

Out of everyone in sports media, Scott Hanson's urinary habits are probably discussed the most because he famously does not have any time to use the bathroom while hosting the RedZone. So he is probably the person people want to hear from when there's a big development in the potty-going sector and he was expertly stationed down in Jacksonville to deliver news on the Jaguars' new practice facility that includes "the most advanced urinals in all of professional sports."

Hanson explains that they are equipped with a sensor that will measure players' hydration levels.

Some would say this is unnecessary while others would argue that it's completely unnecessary. Now, it's always great to see other people spend a ton of money on really stupid stuff and this hurts no one and we all get some laughs in the process until the data is — uh — leaked online somewhere. And sure, there is probably a lot of science involved in getting the optimal level of hydration.

On the other hand, humans have been equipped with a tool for seeing how they're doing in the ol' fluids department for a long time. The eyes. The Jaguars might not know this but you can simply look at the color of your urine and make some pretty solid judgements there. If it's dark, you drink more water. If it's clear, you're also in the clear.

Gum-chewing coaches have long posted visual aids with a chart of all the colors.

Even if you were to make like 25 of these bad boys at Kinkos it would still come under $50. Even if they were laminated. Slightly less expensive than whatever these intrusive Space Age pee troughs cost.

It is great to think there are so many players grinding it out with state of the art tools in their own bathrooms so they can go compete in front of 80,000 paying customers who will be forced to pee into a giant communal trough on gamedays. A tale of the haves and have nots.