If Lewis Hamilton Goes to Ferrari I'm Going to Get Rid of My Mercedes

F1 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi - Previews
F1 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi - Previews / BSR Agency/GettyImages

Lewis Hamilton is leaving Mercedes and joining Ferrari next year. As an American sports fan this is highly concerning. Lewis Hamilton has been at Mercedes since 2013 - or before most American F1 fans even started following the sport! And now he's going to a rival team that has also been around since long before we started caring about F1? Absolutely unthinkable.

As a hip American, F1 is very important to me. And Lewis Hamilton was an obvious choice for a favorite driver because he had a very American name and is the all-time leader in Formula One victories. Obviously he inspired me to buy Mercedes. Now I'll look like a complete fool when I drive around in my Mercedes. So I think I need to get rid of my Mercedes. Good thing they have such incredible resale value!

See, this is why F1 drivers shouldn't have a transfer portal. Sure, I'll have a lot of money once I offload my Mercedes, I'm just going to end up getting a Ferrari instead and I'm pretty sure that's not going to save me much money in the long run.

You know, being a fan of this sport is kind of expensive. I really hope one of these professional pickleball leagues takes off soon so I can try to get out of this new lease. Preferably before Hamilton moves again and I have to find a McLaren or Aston Martin dealership.