I was today years old when I learned that some people think Darius Rucker sings about actual dolphins in Hootie & The Blowfish's 1995 hit, "Only Wanna Be With You." Maybe it's because I remember the video in heavy rotation on MTV (and VH1) that it never occurred to me that someone might be confused. I mean, Dan Marino throws passes to Rucker, who is wearing a personalized Miami Dolphins jersey throughout the video.
As you undoubtedly just saw with your own eyes, it is an absolute classic music video befitting an absolute classic song. The video was shot during the apex SportsCenter era with Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman. Mike Tirico, Charley Steiner and Chris Berman also appear to break down highlights.
And of course, Dan Marino.
The music video featured golfers Fred Couples and Frank McCord, who were really overshadowed by the plotline where the Blowfish played a pickup basketball game against a team of pro basketball players consisting of Alonzo Mourning, Muggsy Bogues, Walt Williams (who was both a problem and a walking bucket in this video btw), Charles Smith and an already retired Alex English.
This video came out the year after Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, so this was a pretty big get for Hootie. Marino was a Pro Bowler and future Hall of Famer, but he had been the quarterback of Rucker's beloved Dolphins since he was in high school. Rucker would have spent a good decade watching Marino and the 'Phins fall short in the postseason or miss the playoffs altogether by the time this song was a hit. This was not some nonsense lyric.
And that's why I thought it was funny that someone would think that it was about actual dolphins. But Twitter finds a way to make sure you see every possible opinion that exists. A day or two later another person came across my timeline with the same thought. Then the man behind 60 Second Classics dropped this.
Is that a joke? Is it an actual script? That doesn't matter because the important part is that he knows what the lyric was about. Unlike those other people apparently do. Fortunately, I'm not alone in noticing this.
He's right! The song's Wikipedia entry even features this line.
"Also mentioned in the bridge of the song is a reference, "I'm such a baby cause the dolphins make me cry", alluding to Darius Rucker's favorite sports team the Miami Dolphins."
No citation is given. No citation required. Anyone familiar enough with this song to have known about it for years and think about the lyrics at all should know that this line is about the Miami Dolphins. Certainly, anyone old enough to remember the video would know.
The reason for the latest round of tweets is because the song is back in the news after *loud sigh* the release of Post Malone's cover of the song to celebrate Pokemon's 25th anniversary last week. He released an official video on Saturday. Rucker has praised the new version, so we'll just leave it at that.
Anyway, in Post Malone's version, he says, "the Cowboys make me cry." This resulted in a bunch of lightbulb moments.
But again, this is not new.
Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end. Probably not, but at least we can say we tried.
UPDATE: Rucker shared his pain during an appearance on SiriusXM in June 2022.
It's only a matter of time until someone else's mind is blown.