Have the Frustrated Bachelorette Party Announce a Pick at the NFL Draft
By Kyle Koster

One consequence of having the NFL Draft in Nashville is that bachelorette parties are encountering a whole different vibe than they may have thought they were stepping into. The phenomenon was explored on the local news and this image of some less-than-pleased revelers was widely distributed.
I’ll tell you who’s not happy about the NFL Draft in Nashville... People who planned their bachelorette parties with no idea this was happening! @FOXNashville pic.twitter.com/dd3VnbRkIl
— Kathleen Jacob FOX17 (@Kathleenjjacob) April 25, 2019
After all, we love nothing more than when people who aren’t us encounter relatively first-world problems. Personally, I feel quite bad because what type of society turns an otherwise fine late April weekend into a parade of grown men wearing jerseys and booing the offensive tackle from Sam Houston State?
Life’s lemons can always be pressed into lemonade, though, Brandon Zimmerman has come up with an idea so genius it must be explored, then executed.
The @NFL really needs to get that Nashville bachlorette party on stage to announce one of the draft picks this weekend. #NFLDraft
— Brandon Zimmerman (@BZSEC) April 26, 2019
Having these ladies — and any others impacted by the draft — become part of the festivities would be a diabolical crossover event. It would send a message of perseverance.
Sure, maybe only two percent of those in attendance and watching at home would get it, but it’d be the right two percent. And if you think there’s anything sacred about who get to announce these things, remember that any number of zoo animals, contest winners, partridge, and a pear tree have already done it before.
I have no idea who would make this happen, but they need to make it happen.